Hope the day is treating you ok?
I have been on the forum for a while. I was diagnosed with RRMS four years after literally years of symptoms. The doctors now reckon I may have had MS for twenty years prior to diagnosis. This week I saw my specialist. After a year of watching me and my symptoms I have now been upgraded!! I have joined your special group of PPMS. It was not a shock as I had suspected it, but I suppose it is a different thing to have it confirmed.
When I was first told I just thought “oh well, same disease, different day”. That is what I told everyone. However, as the days have progressed I can feel I am changing. I suffer from depression anyway, for which I take tablets. I can mostly control the depression that way. I still have down days but mostly I can keep going.
Now it is different. I just feel that I want to get into a big bed, go to sleep and not wake up again. I would not do anything to myself, so don’t worry about that. I just feel it would be easier for me, everyone else, if I was not around. I am unable tot ake anything for my nerve pain as I am allergic to all drugs I have taken. I ache all over, and when I get into bed that is when I feel a little less pain and feel more comfortable. My fatigue is terrible at the moment, I feel I could sleep all day.
My husband tries to understand but I don’t think he does. How could he? He is left alone to cope with the house, family etc. However, I feel so tired I couldn’t care less at the moment, how terrible is that?
Could anyone advise me what to do. I just feel like giving up. I know you will understand how I am feeling and will be able to give me some words to help. I know there are a lot worse people off than me, but at the moment that though isn’t helping either. My family don’t understand the MS and just ignore it, so no help there. Friends live a long way away and don’t visit me.
Thanks in advance everyone.