New Brains!

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill.

Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and sombre.

"I’m afraid I’m the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed the worried faces.

"The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant.

It’s an experimental procedure, very risky but it is the only hope.

Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the brain yourselves."

The family members sat silently as they absorbed the news. After a great length of time, someone asked, "Well, how much does a brain cost?"

The doctor quickly responded, "$5,000 for a male brain, and $200 for a female brain…"

The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked.

A man unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask,

"Why is the male brain so much more?"

The doctor then explained to the entire group, "It’s just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they’ve actually been used."

made me laugh out loud!

Very good,but can you imagine a mouth transplant,trying to find a virtually unused one, with beautiful soft lips.I’m not getting stoned to death for saying it


Not so sure l would want a mans brain - as we all know where they keep theirs!!!

Knocked out of the park SpaceJacket!!!

JBK that is hilarious, loved it

Helen x

Yup,and it stops most women trying to get into them.Women’s brains are smaller, a scientific fact…Leaves room for shoes

Wb x

Wb hun - how many times do we have to tell you guys. Size isn’t everything! Quality not quantity :slight_smile: Of course I demand both!!! JBK xx

It’s funny 'cos it’s believable

Tracey x

So a huge tin of Quality Street is better than…And the answer will be in the affirmative

Wb xx

Hell yes!!! But have you noticed that the tins are getting smaller & it seems you only get about 20 sweets or so. Again I want quantity with my Quality! hehehe :wink: Hello my name is JellyBellyKelly & I am a chocoholic!! xx

If the tins keep shrinking you’ll end up with one huge sweet,and guaranteed it’d be the coconut one.It’s no mystery why all kids say the Cadbury eggs are shrinking…Couldn’t be that they’re growing,but Wagon Wheels used to be as big as bin lids,but now they’re the size of aspirins.

My name is Woblyboy and my jelly hasn’t set x

Chocolate & coconut I can cope with. Chocolate & orange - now that’s yuck! I’ve noticed it with wagon wheels, penguins & fish fingers. Maybe I’ve just a big mouth now!! What am I saying. I’m a Irish ginge, if course I’ve git a big mouth hehe You should try Belly dancing, Wb - nothing like a good wobble with a shimmy :slight_smile: JBK x

Chocolate covered fishy fingers?I’m ginga as well,my cake hole is just that,but it’s not easy belly wibbling from the sitting position,and who is this Shimmy character?

Wb x

Dilemma:- What if you don’t like chocolate? Can I ask the audience or phone a friend and have the question changed to :-

A large bottle of Merlot is better than…and the answer would be a resounding yes!!! [the answer would still be the same for a small bottle lol]

Also small is much better in some circumstances I point you in the direction of the story of David and Goliath

Helen x


its yuk if u eat the whole ball, a few segments i can manage

ellie x (who has lost 4stone on the curly wurly diet-one daily)

Helen,give me the choc choc and I’ll sort the plonk.If I can’t reach the Merlot,which other will turn your liver red? So you want an alcohol content which feels like you’ve been hit in the forehead with a rock…Good Girl

Ellie,I remember watching a Pint+Cream Egg race at Uni.After about eight of each, one of the blokes heaved,and not a word of a lie a whole unchewed egg emerged…Respect. Curly Wurlies are another delight which has been emasculated.Eventually all you’ll get will be a Cur…

WBK ,you want a chocolate coconut.Only chance is for me to dress up like an Up Yer Jumper and get into Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory.Is it OK to have willy and chocolate in the same sentence? I feel sure one of the ‘Ladies’ will explain.

Wb x

Is she has had experience of willy & chocolate in one sentence - she ain’t a Lady - but she is one damn mucky woman!!! Hehe JBK x

And we’re back to the quantity and quality argument. In a perfect world we’d have both … in the real world however …

“There’s nothing like the love of a woman who’s good at being bad”

Wb xx

I love the Mae West quote When I’m good, I’m very very good But when I bad, I’m better JBK x