Hi, hope Everyone is as well as possible.
Yesterday I went to see a neurologist (only the 3rd time since dx 25yrs).I was apprehensive as I’ve had a couple of bad experiences over the last few years with consultants (not ms related) but I needn’t have worried as he was really nice and though.
But I’m feeling devastated that he says that I now have spms, i feel more upset than I did when I was first dx! I think that the thing that has upset me the most is that he explained that a “big relapse” I had a few years ago was not a relaps but extreme fatigue brought on by physical and mental activity & that mental activity will cause more fatigue than physical. I have been taking amantidine to help with mental fatigue but it has had no effect so he said to take a second one at noon. He is also aksing my GP to perscribe something for muscle stiffness.
I feel I can cope with the physical disabilities and even the pain but the mental fatigue is more than I can cope with! The neurologist said that some people find meditation helps as you can stop thinking but I don’t want to stop thinking! I don’t want to spend my life trying to avoid taxing my brain too much. I always saw myself becoming more physically disabled but thought I would spend my time writing while resting my failing body (perhaps I’ve read too much a Dickens!)
If socialising & visiting family can cause so much fatigue that end up taking a month to recover, if simply watching a TV quiz show can leave me exhausted what can i do? I certainly can’t continue writing my novel or poetry (it’s taken me an hour to write this!)
I know I should wait and see if the second Amantadine works and that I need to try the other things the consultant suggested, low salt diet, vitamin D (as well as the to things that I asked him about which said wouldn’t do any harm, asprin & evening primrose oil) but my bleak feelings about life just got bleaker.