My son

Hi my son was diagnosed 3.5 years ago with ms. Initially they thought it was rrms but now it’s looking like ppms because he has deteriorated so much in that time. He was married 3 months before diagnosis and has a 7 year old son. His wife wants a trial separation and I have always feared she wouldn’t cope. I feel so worried about him and what impact that will have on him. He spoke about suicide just after his diagnosis because he doesn’t want to be a burden. Now I am scared for him. Does anyone have experience of a spouse or partner leaving and what the implications were for them? He will be 40 next month.

However things pan out it is important that your son doesn’t feel things are ‘his fault’ - he certainly didn’t ask to have m.s. Similarly you mustn’t be critical of his wife if she ‘can’t cope’
Don’t know how the ‘trial separation’ is planned - your son mustn’t feel obliged to move out of the house - and his wife shouldn’t assume that their son goes with her. In these situations it is very easy for the one with m.s. to feel responsible/guilty for things and easy for them to allow the partner/spouse ride roughshod over them. I think what you have to do if indeed it comes to a separation is support your son to ensure that his interests are protected - he should have the child 50% of the time - it may be that he can get financial support from his wife.
Keep his wife ‘on board’ if you can but make sure your son knows you’re fighting his corner.

1 Like

I would have his back 100%. I love his wife and get on with her but he comes first.