This may seem a strange post but im looking for some advice from anyone who may have been/currently be in a similar boat.
My mum was diagnosed with MS seven years ago when I was 16. From that point she left work and began a very rapid decline in health. Like many of the posts I’ve read, my life from then on was shrouded in constant uncertainty, hospital visits, anxiety and what I can only describe as seeing my mum’s mind and body at war with her. It was horrendous to lose her physical and mental ability bit by bit and to live life constantly worried that each phone call might be from your frantic dad as he made his way in yet another ambulance with mum.
Five years after she was diagnosed, and following the constant strain of caring for her, my mum moved into care. At this point she had had a huge relapse (which do doctors has thought was a stroke) and cognitively, she was in a bad way. I can honestly say that to date, her moving ino a care home was one of the most heartbreaking times I’ve been through.
I’m going off on a slight tangent to what I’d originally set out to ask, which is, with Christmas coming I am yet again struggling to come up with gift ideas. Reason being this:
- she is so immobile and fatigued that any excursion (theatre trip etc) is completely out of the question
- her memory and concentration span is so poor that DVDs or CDs etc would be pointless
- she is peg fed so alcohol or chocolates aren’t an option
- her arms spasm and she scratches a lot so jewellery could be dangerous
- her bedroom has literally no space left for ornaments or decorations
- her skin is sensitive to body lotions and creams
Our Christmases are spent rather unconventionally at the nursing home and although she barely knows that it’s Christmas day, we still try to make the most of things and spend our time together as a family. I guess we just try to make the best out of a bad situation.
So anyway, I’m outta ideas… Suggestions welcome!