Have you tried more than one type of oral contraceptive? Because they’re not all the same.
Because of my age (late 40s) I’m only allowed the mini-pill, but although I didn’t have the same problems as you, the first one didn’t suit me.
I kept having breakthrough bleeding, which is obviously a concern, if you can’t be absolutely sure it’s your pill. And I’m sure that, occasionally, I ovulated and had a full natural cycle - despite being on the pill! Imagine the consequences if I’d been relying on it for contraception, instead of just to control monthly flare-ups of MS symptoms! Obviously not a reliable method, if it just randomly fails every few months.
So I switched to a different one, and I’ve no longer been getting the unscheduled bleeds, nor the occasional month when my body seemingly decides to ignore the pill altogether.
I don’t know if a similar switch would work for mood problems too, and perhaps, after two bad experiences, you are unwilling to try. But I just think it might be worth experimenting to see if you can find one that suits.
Having settled on one I’m OK with, I’ve found it greatly improves quality of life. I probably won’t need to be on it much longer, because that side of things must be drawing to a close soon, anyway. But I was down to a three-week cycle, and my periods were lasting a full week, too, so only two decent weeks before I was back to the whole symptom flare-up thing. I’ve now got the OK to run two courses of the mini-pill back-to-back, so I can go a full eight weeks between periods. That’s such an improvement on three!