Moving

Everyday living
21

We moved from a 3 storey house to a bungalow in enough time. Gradually what we’d done was to move from the top floor bedroom with great views, huge space, en suite bathroom etc, to a 1st floor bedroom when the stairs were becoming a problem. Eventually we had to move altogether. We now live in a bungalow in the same village, and in spite of not having planned for future increased disability (obviously it wasn’t going to happen!) have managed to make it work. We had to change virtually every room, reconfigure some of the interior space, put in a ramp to the front door (and replace the porch, raising the floor as we did so). And so much other work.

If I were to set out on this course now, I maybe wouldn’t have bought exactly the house we have. But in its’ favour, we have a big hall, meaning there’s room for a wheelchair with relatively mild reconfiguration of the other rooms.

And of course, all our doorways have big scrapes on them from where I’ve not quite cleared the door. And there is more damage to the walls etc than we’d like.

But, although it seems really negative to plan for something that may not happen, it doesn’t hurt to make the major move while you’re still able. One of the big changes we had to make was as a result of a big relapse, when my legs stopped working. We had to make some quite bit alterations while I was in a residential rehab unit. (Bathroom became a wetroom, door was moved, hallway was altered, etc, etc)

Sue

22

I would like to wholeheartedly thank you all for your thoughts and sharing your stories.

A couple of weeks ago I was feeling quite positive about moving but actually having an estate agent round has made it all seem very real, and unfortunately her valuation was significantly lower than we expected so our options are much more limited than we had thought they would be. And we need to get it done soon to have a chance of selling this year.

Added to that, this week I am struggling with increased symptoms (reduced walking, tight chest and my speech is worse) and have had to say no to some things I have done every year until now because I just can’t manage the walking, so I got myself into a bit of a slough of despond and everything seems more urgent.

My sister became very disabled very quickly, and I am under no illusions about what this disease can do, but, irrationally, moving into a bungalow feels like I am reliving her disease course and accelerating my own. I know this is stupid, but it is contributing to my feeling of losing my identity and to my panic.

Reading your comments has crystallised for me that living near to amenities is probably the most important thing, although I think of my sister being unable to leave her bedroom for the last few years and I really wanted a bedroom looking out onto a bit of sunny patio or garden, but we won’t be able to get that in this town within our budget.

We do have a lovely park though, and chances are that if I am within wheeling distance, I’d be able to enjoy that even if we end up with no garden. I worry though about getting depressed if I can’t see nature when I am stuck inside and so I keep swinging between having increased independence for a couple of years and then being stuck in a gloomy room for the rest, and living further out, having my room with a view, and just accepting that I can’t get out and about anymore. I suppose I have to be optimistic and assume that I will be independent to some degree for a while yet and make the most of that.

I have discovered that there are ground floor flats available to rent (albeit at eyewatering prices!) so at least there is somewhere we could move to temporarily if this sells before we can find anywhere, or if end of chain makes it more saleable.

Thank you again for helping me think this through, it’s not easy to talk to other people about it because I tend to get very emotional.

1 Like
23

Teal,

I also found the moving process a very up and down affair - it’s all basically a bit of an ordeal from start to finish - so please do vent if you need to - moving house is bad enough without having to accommodate the MonSter as well. And the emotional aspect - oh yes, do understand that one.

Jo x

24

Thank you Jo, I really appreciate the support I get from this forum. You are all so thoughtful.

I hate moving house and it always stresses me, although I’ve done it 9 times since leaving Uni so you’d think I’d have it worked out by now.

Trying to get control of my fatigue and what I very much hope is a flare not a relapse by having a day in bed today, but keep thinking of things I should be doing to move the process on. Ah well, what will be, will be.

25

love it!

26

hi teal

your symptoms are probably due to the stress of moving.

hopefully they will resolve once you’ve moved.

carole x

27

Hello Everyone !

Really glad I moved to single floor living, saves my energy to do more. Selling my “forever” home was stressful and then some, making my MS worse. I moved to the Midlands and rented for a year whilst doing renovations on my bungalow. Decluttering was the bane of my life, but mainly sorted now.

Living in a large house - even with a stairlift - was just too knackering - I I felt forced to move from the home i loved. Now, on balance, I’m content that I did.

Remember- when one door closes, another one opens [thanks to Carole for the poem], but the corridor is shitty! {but shit grows beautiful roses!!}

1 Like
28

Thanks everyone for this thread, which has come at a very timely moment, as I’ve been discussing this with my husband.

Some friends are moving from their house to a (over 55s) retirement flat. She has bad scoliosis problems and they would rather move sooner - while they are able - than later. I’ve always heard that you should trade down/move while you are still able to do so rather than waiting until it’s a really big struggle and is forced on you.So we got to thinking…

My husband is 70 and fit. I’m almost 65 with RRMS and not bad most days. He worries about me coping and thinks I avoid the stairs in our house as they are a big effort (certain amount of truth in that). We need to do a fair bit of work on our house, so we could just grit our teeth and do it, but at the back of my mind is the ‘supposing I get worse and continue to accrue disability?’ thing. Three summers ago - before the events which precipitated my dx - I felt much better. We just went for a short walk in the park (short because I felt like I had no strength in my legs and was wearing concrete shoes - worse today because of the humidity). We were discussing this so it seems like a coincidence that I came home and saw this thread.

I can live with the MS but I hate the uncertainty of not knowing what it will bring - if anything - in the future.

Louise

29

It sounds like a good time for you both to be thinking about this. Particularly if you face the possibility of investing real money and effort and stress in home maintainance/improvements that would not pay for themselves if you moved. Investing that money/effort/stress into instead towards choosing somewhere for your next couple of decades, so you can get it just as you want it could be a very smart move!

Good luck.

Alison

30

My life plan, following all changing due to MS and various other things, includes a downsize from my bungalow to somewhere where they whoever they are, will look after me. I don’t mind, I have got used to the idea. I squeeze every bit of life and sun out of every day now so that if this happens I will just be a progression of something that started a long time ago.

Anyway, what is my point? I think it is that when I made my list of what I needed when I had to move to a bungalow, it included my brain getting itself round the change. I think this is really important, as a counsellor told me, we are not programmed for things like this and there isn’t a guide book. Getting your head around adjustments that we don’t particularly want to make is sometimes the most important thing. He, the counsellor helped me to just move on and leave it all behind. ‘Pam, leave it, you need to move, you can’t get up any stairs, it is that simple’. He made it all ok.

I did a quick amount of research before I moved and I went to speak to Age Concern, the social services for disability and went to visit with referral, the nearest very large specialist disability O.T. centre. I had nearly half a day there discussing my needs and potential needs, they showed me hundreds of gadgets and let me play with them which was really useful as some didn’t work for me as I have little wrist strength. I tried bed lifters, chairs, all sorts of things I have never even heard of. I came away with the code numbers for all the gadgets I might need to buy or invest in for the future. It gave me a clear view of what I thought I could do in my head and actually what I was now not capable of. Again, it put me on the right path. I was and am keen for my bungalow not to look like someone lives here who is vulnerable so I have the assistance gadgets at the back and all things I need tucked away so I am very lucky that way. I did even on bad days before I moved, sort one thing out. One thing in a box, one thing down the charity shop, I never have more than one of anything. It helped reduce the amount of things I had, before I moved. Even on a really bad day I chucked one thing in the bin if nothing else. Slow but sure!

31

HI John, liked your post. I had a go at online scrabble but it was an American site that just came up with daft words and I got really irate about it. Could you recommend a good site please so that I can start again? Thanks.

32

Brill Alison, thank you, I shall be tittering all day. I might print this out and put it on the wall. Pam

33

In my home now, what makes it liveable, 23 steps to everywhere.

No bones about it, it saved my life. In my last house, my son came home and was screaming at me for 25 minutes in absolute anger as his Mum was curled up, half way up the stairs crying, unable to move or get into the bedroom or the bathroom, legs not working, arms completely deflated with energy and nothing on this earth was going to enable me to get up one step and go into the bedroom to lie down. Nothing was going to enable me to get on the bed, gravity left me stranded there like an upside down tortoise. He went bananas because I had let this happen. He was right. Something drastic needed to happen and I hadn’t done anything, told anyone, put any action into place.

Don’t let anyone find you curled up somewhere, do something before it does something to you. Sounds really serious doesn’t it, but in retrospect, hindsight would have been a good thing. I would have got my arse out of that house a lot quicker and not let my son find me like that.

34

Hi again. Feeling like a sulky child now…kicking and shouting ‘but I’m not like that now, none of those things could happen to me’. But supposing they did?

Sigh…I hate change and hate the thought of changing. This time last week none of this had even entered my thinking. It’s all the fault of this bloody MS…

Had this discussion with some friends today. They - being a bit older than me - have several friends who have downsized. None of them regretted it.

Off to try and behave like an adult again.

Thanks for all the advice!

Louise

35

I moved to a bungalow which was built in 1910. Nice place, big garden, but the doors and corridor are narrow.

However, I have avoided door widening, and a local council grant, by opting for a 52cm narrow QUICKIE Salsa-M2 powerchair with 6 wheels. It turns on a sixpence!

The standard NHS powerchair was about 59cm wide. I tried it at home, but couldn’t turn it without changing the doors.

My new powerchair has been kindly ordered for me by NHS Wheelchair Services. So many thanks to them.

http://www.sunrisemedical.co.uk/powered-wheelchairs/quickie/power-wheelchairs/salsa-m2