Oh dear Worried22, Your fear is very real to you. It actually sounds like a phobia of illness but I’m no medical specialist. It might sound silly or unimportant to others who have an incurable medical condiition diagnosis.
For you, the fear and worry is real and is affecting your life, your quality of life will be overcome with worry. It’s not ok to say pull yourself together, a mental illness (chronic anxiety) can cause heart failure! Your fear of any illness, symptom is out of proportion. Although this forum is MS Society, many people know how worry affects lives.
Can you see your GP to explain how obsessive your real anxiety is seriously affecting you. I don’t want to sound condescending but your life is precious. It isn’t ending, most types of illness can be treated to ease it.
You mention there’s no support at home or family There are many forums to help but your GP can, and should, refer you to specialist nurses for different treatments.
It may be a long road ahead hon, but it will be worth the journey to ease your worry. A mindful of worry is frightening and only professional help with friends support can get your mind back on track to, dare I say, positive thinking. That might take time but you need immediate reassurance from qualified professionals. I sincerely hope you can see what I’m trying to say. To help yourself like you have done is terrific, it means the lack of support from home is not stopping you from finding information and help.
Carry on hon, any adversity makes us strong. Try not to research the net as it goes OFF and calls an itchy finger the start of a fatal rash picked up from fruit at the local grocers, while qualified medics will correctly find it’s only irritated skin from washing dishes. Hope you know what I mean.
Blimey, I bet you feel you’ve just read a book with this long post, but hopefully you can smile at my crazy analogies.
Do you work, study, have any hobbies, volunteer to help anyone, cook, go out with pals, have duvet days? I hope you can.
Take care of YOU xx