just wanted to say that i am feeling so lucky to be ill the way i am .this might sound crazy to some but a good frriend of mine had liver cancer and after 6 months of no treatment cause they couldn’t decide what to do as there first option of op could not be done has just been told it has now gone on her lungs and all they can do is give her a tablet that may or may not lengthen how long she has left. makes you feel so gratefull. may not be able to do some things but at least i can live. sorry but i just need to say it . rach xxx
Hi Rach,
In that respect yes we are very lucky as MS won’t kill us, something else will, but remember the otherside of the coin we will suffer all day, everyday. Your friend had their choices and made possibly the wrong one, we don’t have that choice. Having said that I do feel for your friend and hope they don’t suffer to much.
Janet
x
Sorry I didn’t make it clear she has never had a normal life she had liver disease from the age of 14 plus other med conditions .she had no choices to make they wouldn’t operate as she had fluid around her heart and untill it was gone it was unsafe .she was offered no treatment for the cancer during the 6 months they were dealing with the heart then are suprised it has spread. Totaly disgusting treatment.she was unable go forfill her dream of having a baby after hers died in child birth yet manages to work with babbies she is so strong and I would rather have ms and see my kids grow up than go through what she has. Xxxx
Your friend is very lucky to have you Rach, take care and good luck with what you are going to have to do to support her and her family
Catherine x
x
Yes, Rach, we are lucky. As I have said, right from the beginning, it could be so much worse. Having perspective and positivity is such an asset. And is medically proven to impact on your health. There is no benefit to dwelling and having a woe is me attitude. Catherine xx
We are teaming up to fight we believe it will add on time at the very least . She and we are not ready to give up the fight . We are raising money so she can marry her partner of 15 years 
I am happy to contribute for your cause Rach, send me a private message and I will forward, it is a lovely thing you are doing. x
Hi Rachy,
Yes, it’s important to keep some perspective.
I know it’s a bit of a cliche, but there usually IS somebody worse off.
I watched my Dad die of a dreadful, incurable (virtually untreatable) cancer, and from the time of diagnosis, he had to live with the knowledge he had months, at best - possibly only weeks. And his deterioration was much faster and more severe than anything I’ve so far had to put up with, and his pain was a lot worse…
So yes, I DO have a sh*tty, degenerative disease, that isn’t likely to be curable in my lifetime. But I’m not waking every morning, thinking: Will I last the month? Will I last the week? How much worse is it going to be today?
I don’t feel well, and don’t think I’m ever going to feel well any more. But I still haven’t lived through what either my dad, or your friend have had to go through, and I find it impossible to imagine.
When I was first diagnosed, it did cross my mind: “Will I die of it?”, but then I realised I probably wouldn’t - or not for a long, long time yet - about the time I may have died anyway.
So it’s definitely not the worst news you can ever get.
I do feel sorry for anyone who gets the news no patient ever wants to hear. And I’m sorry for those who have never been well. At least I had a few decades of reasonable health, even though I never valued it as I should, because it didn’t occur to me I might lose it. But some people are born ill.
I hope your friend is able to have her wedding. I do think attitude plays a part in how long someone can hold on, even when medicine has nothing left to offer. My dad could not escape the inevitable, but I think he did better than if he’d given up.
Tina
x
You are a damn fine friend Rach.
Good luck with the wedding plans.
Karen x
Hi Janet, it seems rach`s friend has these illnesses without making any choices of lifestyle. we shouldnt jump to conclusions, should we.
My sis in law in canada has recently had brain and lung tumours removed. yes, she used to smoke and drink, but I would never remind her of those things.
luv Pollx
Hi rach, I agree with you entirely. I met so many people who lost their fight with cancer, when I used to go to the hopsice for respite.
Here`s a word of hope, for your dear friend. My sis in law in Canada, was diagnosed with brain, liver and lung tumours in July. She was given a few months to live. Initially they said no treatment could save her. But, she has had the tumours removed and has been told she is cancer free, but will be having chemo in Jan, to make doubly sure.
We feel a miracle has happened.
I hope for the same for your friend.
your friend is lucky to have you in her life.
Bless you both.
luv Pollx
thank you all for your kind words . i lost my mum to cancer and my grandma my uncle won his battle and lost my dad to heart prob. she has never drunk smoked or ate to much chocolate unlike me lol. she is an inspiration . i try to be the best person i can be to those who are close to me do to those as you wish to be done to yourself i say. my friends and family are helping me so i do what i can to help them. xx
Rachy, I only got married a year ago and did the whole thing myself. It’s all fresh in my memory…if you need anything giz a shout. Xx