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Losing a loved one?

Grief and ms?

Has anyone had to cope with losing a loved one(s)?

How did it effect your symptoms?

Any tips on coping?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Hi, yes I have, four years ago. Looking back, there was so much going on and so much to do, I didn’t have time to worry about my own health. But I didn’t relapse and remained as well as I normally am. I had very kind people around me and my son, but without them, things might have been a lot different.

It sounds like you are going through a tough time there, feel free to PM if you would like to.

Val

hiya

firstly sorry for your loss.

its an awful time and what i would say is dont try to blame ms for what is a natural reaction.

i have lost 3 folk recently-unexpected in all. 2 of us had actually discussed our deaths. they both said we will be gone and painfree (mental and physical) so dont cause yourself extra trauma by asking what ifs etc.

initially i was in shock-first few seconds shaking uncontrollably which was perhaps enhanced by ms issues but a natural reaction too. what followed i would say was expected such as tears and whys etc but i also recalled their wise words. they may sound harsh but they really are not but infact right!

so to answer ur questions-it didnt affect my ms stuff other than what i have said.

how to cope? by remembering the good times and that death is as natural as birth. i think that death is not discussed honestly enough but i understand why! we are frightened from it in general.

dont anticipate things but deal with them when and if they arise. be honest with yourself about how ur feeling (generally we put a brave face on!) whatever that may be, and you will get through it.

take care, ellie

1 Like

Thank you xx

Hello hun.

Just wanna send love and hugs, to help.

Off load here and we`ll do our best to support you through this sad time.

luv Pollyxxx

You ask about any tips -

Ask yourself if you can cope with the grief you are experiencing by yourself?

If not have you a friend or relative who can help? If not then contact some of the organisations who can help.

It is far tougher to acknowledge that you need help rather than try to battle on by yourself.

Hey Agraboy, how are yer ? Sorry for your loss dude. It sucks dogs… Losing someone hurts. I’ve been lucky in this respect I guess, however all my grandparents are gone now. Didn’t know much when my paternal went (in teens at school), but when mum’s dad went it was a kick in the teeth. He had a heart attack, but was getting better in hospital. We took him his Christmas presents, out soon. I was round my mates when dad and uncle appeared at door with the news… With grandma we watched her slowly decline as dementia gripped tighter until it released her at 92 in April. I went to an All Saints Day remembrance service yesterday that she was part time of. Lit a candle… There’s no definitive answer to grief. Time takes the edge off. Soon it was yesterday, last week, last month…jeez, it’s been a decade. … Life gets in the way. But you never forget.

hiya anon

i just wanted to say that u r so right when you say about time and dwelling. my dad committed suicide and thats why i replied how i did. we (my family) have all had to find a way of coping with unanswered questions. this is such an emotive subject but it should be spoken about for those that wish/need to.

take care all, ellie

Yup, been there, done that, printed the tee-shirt.

But seriously, the first thing is to talk about the late loved one to anyone who will listen, and don’t ever stop doing it
Next. if anyone tells you that you will “get over it in time”, do not yield to the temptation of giving then a punch on the nose. You are never going to get over it, but you will accept that it has happened and come to terms with it (but see the first item).
Finally, do remember that there will always be folk here who will listen, empathise with you, and not be judgemental. You want ot need support - come back here.

Geoff

Greatly appreciate hearing from you all.

Thank you.