I have come on today cause I am so p***ed off and fed up and am suppose to be getting myself ready to go out to meet some friends I haven’t seen in ages (because I kept having to cancel as I didn’t feel up to it) and here I am again, wondering, through my excitement at an afternoon out, if I can actually manage it without being a miserable moody cow…
I woke up nearly 7 weeks ago now with a terrible numbness and tingly sensation which ran from just above my knee down to my toes on the right side. Walking was odd to say the least but I managed. The next morning this progressed to the same sensation and numbness down my right arm and the day after the right side of my face felt like someone were stabbing a million needles into it.
I can’t sit here and honestly say that it were pain - I mean real bad pain (know that one from breaking my hip years ago) and I do know that I have a high pain threshold but it really wore me down and now 7 weeks later although my face is almost back to normal - just the occassional stabbing sensation and my arm is completely fine, both legs hurt like hell
Just moving around on my legs has become a chore - not only do they feel numb and tingly but they now actually hurt - a throbbing constant kind of ach that just doesn’t seem to want to do one. It’s no easier at night - I have constant spasms - mainly with my feet and lower leg and I wake up with the pain. I lay there, dead tired, not being able to get comfortable enough to sleep because no matter what position I move my legs they hurt.
I have had limited problems with my legs before but nothing compared to this and it is making me so miserable it’s untrue.I feel so weak it’s pathetic - my shoulders ache and if i have to put any physical energy into anything I am totally b***ered.
I had to take a day of work yesterday (during all of this I have only taken 3 days off - 2 at the beginning and yesterday) and literally spent the whole day in doors on the sofa and it did my head in completely. I couldn’t be bothered to cook tea for my daughter so we had a takeaway - she were happy lol but it made me feel useless.
Everything feels like an effort - even breathing which sounds so dramatic and its not - i can breath lol I am not struggling for breath it just feels like more effort then normal.
I saw my ms nurse in the week - who feels i am doing really well?? but confirmed what I thought that I am having a relapse. I have been taking copaxone since March and although have no problems with it seem to have felt worse than ever before with little flare ups etc. She has suggested I take a 5 day course of steroids - I had to take them once before (nothing to do with ms when I had a rather serious chest infection and they were worried about it developing into pneumonia) and they made me feel like sh*t. I ate and ate and put on nearly half a stone in that time, would happily have killed anyone who talked to me and sleep - well forget it. Feeling so awful and tired and fed up and in pain now I wonder if I could cope with the steroids especially as she suggested they wont get it rid of it straight away but will hopefully speed up the repair??
My partner doesn’t handle it all very well - we argued in the week quite seriously because he has been going out every night for hours and hours with his mates - because he is worried about me and cannot stand to see me like it - is his reason. My daughter is a teenager and wonderful but like all teenages I only see her when she wants food or to watch eastenderes lol
I don’t even know how to express to someone how I feel without feeling like a moaner - its really not as bad as other people and I manage to do so much cause i make myself do it but…
Anyways anyone out there who has experienced the same or is experiencing the same and has some good advise please share and anyone else who reads this self pitying post please feel free to give me a cyber kick up the ar5se and remind me life aint so bad really/
Love to all