As comedians, we are all laughing because life is so horrible. Life is so difficult, and I cope with it by making jokes about absolutely everything.
I don’t exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.
The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.
It’s so long since I’ve had sex I’ve forgotten who ties up who.
Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if you’re funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you.