Hello, I’ve been fortunate with my work that they’ve continued to pay me as the government has classed me (and many others) as ‘clinically extremely vulnerable’ but I know others aren’t so lucky. It’s came to a head last Saturday and had taken an overdose, but even though I blocked my husband from coming into the house, he found a way in and got my mum (the only one who talk sense to me) they managed to ‘encourage’ (mum virtually forced me) onto an ambulance to spend the 28 hours in hospital.
Even after it I still see no point in being here. I am lucky as have a home, job and a happy marriage but still see no future for myself. I live and adapted with MS but it’s not the main issue. It’s the continuing feeling of uselessness.
Oh Missy may
How dreadful that you feel so bad you OD’d. I understand the feeling of uselessness. I even understand the feeling of not wanting to be here anymore.
But think about the people who love you. Clearly your husband loves you, and your mum. Probably you have other family members and/or friends who love you. How terrible it must be to see someone you love suffering as you are.
I think Covid and lockdown has been terrible for so many people. Not seeing your loved ones; unable to work or leave home; unable to go about life as normal. It can and does do dreadful things to our self worth and lead you into severe depression.
Have you spoken to your GP about how you feel? Is the hospital or GP going to arrange some counselling for you? Or do you have access to a community neurological multi-disciplinary team? Have you spoken to your MS nurse even?
I’ve just looked back at your earlier posts from 2018 & 19. You’d said something in ‘18 about your husbands mental health. Then about IVF in ‘19. Also that you stopped Copaxone. It seems that over the past couple of years you’ve been having a tough time all round, and that was before Covid and Lockdown.
Can I ask, did you continue with IVF? Did you get on another disease modifying drug? What has made you ‘clinically extremely vulnerable’ re Covid? Do you have other health issues apart from MS? Is there anything else you need to talk about with fellow MSers (ie us)?
Taking an overdose is a very extreme reaction to feeling useless and despairing. It can cause you to do real damage to your body without killing you. For example, your liver could be badly damaged. The end result of a failed OD can be to make your situation worse. And that’s without it failing to resolve the issues that are so causing you to feel so awful.
Can you explain more? Or is it too difficult to discuss with strangers? I do understand if all you want is to tell us that you feel desperate without wanting to go into detail.
Sue
Hello sue, I’ve restarted the copaxone and am on venlafaxine, and been offered counselling, the ivf’s paused due to covid. I’ve been asthmatic for over 19 years. Thank you 
It’s a good thing you’ve been offered counselling and that you’re on an antidepressant.
I do hope the OD was a blip. That your feeling so low will maybe ease with the relaxation of Lockdown. I meant to ask in my original reply, have you had the Covid vaccinations? I imagine you have given that you have asthma. (Hope so anyway!!)
Keep talking to us, there are others who will answer you if they are able. We are having some difficulties at the moment because of the new site (mostly people are disliking it and/or having trouble using it), so there are less forum members about to answer you.
Sue