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Is this a cynical question?!

I have noticed that since my diagnosis and more visible signs,that some folk who prior to my ms found it very hard to hide their resentment (v.few people !)( I loved life,happy,loved my work etc…flies in ointment for some folk ) are now really really nice to me.The cynic thinrks it is now easy to be nice as I have a stick etc and it makes some feel better, am I thinking too deeply here or are people just good. I know that there are lots of good, caring people that I meet daily. I still love life but hope I have not becoming twisted in my thought processes

Hi Rose I don’t think you’re wrong or twisted. Whilst the majority of people, including total strangers are lovely, I have had a few bad reactions. But conversely to you, the bad reactions I’ve experienced have been whilst in George (my wheelie). I posted yesterday about being spat at by someone I know. Well, I was chatting to a friend last night who knew what happened and apparantly this person thinks that I am after the sympathy vote by being in a wheelchair and that there’s nothing wrong with me !! She said to this person that I always come up smelling of roses and she’s sick of people falling for the act !! Nice or what ?!! Xx

Hi Rose, I think the worst part of being in limbo is that friends, family, co-workers etc can be very sceptical & don’t always believe there’s anything really wrong with you.

Once you get the dx they suddenly believe you & perhaps feel a tad guilty that they didn’t believe you before.

Anyway best not to question it too much… if they’re being friendly take it at face value… most people are kind and well-meaning.

Pat x

Hi, try not to waste your precious energy thinking about these people/remarks.

It is what it is and people will be people…good or bad.

Just enjoy life as you usually do.

luv Pollx

[quote=“Snow Leopard”]

Hi Rose, I think the worst part of being in limbo is that friends, family, co-workers etc can be very sceptical & don’t always believe there’s anything really wrong with you.

Once you get the dx they suddenly believe you & perhaps feel a tad guilty that they didn’t believe you before.

Anyway best not to question it too much… if they’re being friendly take it at face value… most people are kind and well-meaning.

Pat x

[/quote] Hi, I feel guilty about how I am as I have not had a def dx yet. Because I am mobile, (I get weak, shakey legs and go off balance sometimes, and tired) I feel I am not taken seriously as no one can ‘see’ how I feel.

[quote=“Snow Leopard”]

Hi Rose, I think the worst part of being in limbo is that friends, family, co-workers etc can be very sceptical & don’t always believe there’s anything really wrong with you.

Once you get the dx they suddenly believe you & perhaps feel a tad guilty that they didn’t believe you before.

Anyway best not to question it too much… if they’re being friendly take it at face value… most people are kind and well-meaning.

Pat x

[/quote] Hi, I feel guilty about how I am as I have not had a def dx yet. Because I am mobile, (I get weak, shakey legs and go off balance sometimes, and tired) I feel I am not taken seriously as no one can ‘see’ how I feel.

[quote=“grannysue”]

[/quote] Hi, I feel guilty about how I am as I have not had a def dx yet. Because I am mobile, (I get weak, shakey legs and go off balance sometimes, and tired) I feel I am not taken seriously as no one can ‘see’ how I feel.[/quote]

Hi Grannysue, It is very hard when you know how ill you feel but others can’t see it.

But there is no need for you to feel guilty… although I know guilt is a big part of long-term illness and not being believed makes it worse.

When you feel guilty try to analyse your feelings and see how in fact you have no reason to feel guilty. YOU know that something is wrong. YOU are not doing anything wrong. YOU know how dreadful you feel.

Believe me the guilt doesn’t go away even when you are dx. I still get it 5 years after dx. I still feel that if I just tried harder I could do much more… but when I look at that guilt I realise that it’s really a sort of denial. I don’t want to face up to how much MS has affected me… so part of me thinks that I’m giving into it and with an effort I could ‘get over it’.

It’s also to do with the culture we live in, where people who overcome illness and disability are seen as heroic… making the rest us seem like sissies… and therefore guilty. Make sense? Hope so.

Pat x

Sorry I messed up the quote business…

[quote=“Snow Leopard”]

[quote=grannysue]

[/quote] Hi, I feel guilty about how I am as I have not had a def dx yet. Because I am mobile, (I get weak, shakey legs and go off balance sometimes, and tired) I feel I am not taken seriously as no one can ‘see’ how I feel.[/quote]

Hi Grannysue, It is very hard when you know how ill you feel but others can’t see it.

But there is no need for you to feel guilty… although I know guilt is a big part of long-term illness and not being believed makes it worse.

When you feel guilty try to analyse your feelings and see how in fact you have no reason to feel guilty. YOU know that something is wrong. YOU are not doing anything wrong. YOU know how dreadful you feel.

Believe me the guilt doesn’t go away even when you are dx. I still get it 5 years after dx. I still feel that if I just tried harder I could do much more… but when I look at that guilt I realise that it’s really a sort of denial. I don’t want to face up to how much MS has affected me… so part of me thinks that I’m giving into it and with an effort I could ‘get over it’.

It’s also to do with the culture we live in, where people who overcome illness and disability are seen as heroic… making the rest us seem like sissies… and therefore guilty. Make sense? Hope so.

Pat x

[/quote] I agree Pat, I used to feel like that a lot, but now I seem to have got past it as my disability has progressed. Susi x