Hi I am new to the forum and just wanted to introduce myself. My name is Emma and I am 31 and a full time carer for my mother who has fairly severe ms physically and it effects her moods and she gets very confused too.I won’t be a full time carer soon as I had to get additional carers because she has just got a hoist and also I need to work as I have no income and we are surviving on just my partners pt wage at min and I am doing a pt course to get qualified in childcare to help me get a job but I will still be caring for her in the evening and early hrs of the morning. My partner, Vik helps alot which takes the pressure off.we are engaged to be married next year and my mum loves her like a daughter anyway but obviously the cleaning her if there’s an accident, cleaning her and sorting bed if her catheter comes out (which lately is every other day to every week)and wiping her after commode falls to me which I don’t mind but when there is a lot happening or its constantly early hrs of the morning gets very draining but Mum can’t help it so I am happy to help to make her comfy. She has alot of mental problems and unfortunately doesn’t think she does but when someone asks her something she gets very confused, so I say let me deal with it and she sayes yes on a good day and no I can do it on a bad day and then gets confused. I try to do the best I can and do feel guilty about leaving her to others but we need to survive, we need money and we want to get married and have children but I still feel selfish. I know I’m not and I do all I can for her. She took it as I don’t like caring for her when I said I need to work but she knows we need money so I know deep down she gets it,she just takes it too personal and she doesn’t and I don’t wanna get carers allowance as they take it from her income support to give me and she said no and I don’t want to, its not right also its not enough to live on. I love my mum to bits and try to do the best I can I hope I can speak to other carers and my partner/ fiancée, Vik also. God bless and speak soon everyone Emma x
Hi Emma You sound absolutely amazing how you look after your Mum. It often can be really personal. Also smelly and embarrassing. But it sounds as if you are doing an absolutely fantastic job. Totally understandable that you want to get married and have children. I am sure that is what your Mum wants for you too. It just must be so difficult for you being pulled in different directions. Do you have anyone to give you any advice you need e.g MS nurse or the helpline on this site? Hugs Min xx
Your Post which you have shared here is such a nice post. You have shared your story which i reall like it. Best of luck for future and God bless you and Thanks for sharing such a nice story.