I'm so angry (Not really ms)

Everyday living
1

Some of you might know that I’m having problems at work, basically being bullied because I have ms.

As I was leaving work today and going to my car, I heard the words “Your a stupid” So I turned around and the woman who’s been making my life such a misery finished her sentence by saying, “bitch”

I’ve put up with her verbal abuse for almost two years, until she became pysical and I took it to my managers. What has really upset me today and made me so bl**dy furious is that I had my eleven year old daughter with me and she heard what this woman said.

I spoke to the Head and he is going to check the security cameras and see if they picked anything up. Obviously not sound, but they might see her speaking to me.

If this was happening on ‘civvy street’ I would have gone to the police by now. Instead of which I’ve had to go through a stupid farcical system where the Chair of Governors couldn’t be asd with the paperwork and quashed my first grievance.

I’m a stubborn sod though, and appealed his decision, and next wednesday have a grievance appeal meeting with three different governors who I know are all decent people and will thoroughly investigate my evidence.

I’m just so angry that my daughter had to hear this woman speaking to me as she did. As we got into the car, my daughter said “Mammy did she just say what I think she did?” I managed to make a joke of it and say something along the lines of, “It’s just something silly grown ups say to each other”

I’m so sorry for the ridiculously long and boring post, but needed to vent my anger and so wound up, I can’t sleep and just feel like I’ve let my baby down. (She’s my youngest).

Freckles

2

that is disgusting. You have a right to work free from harassment and if your employer fails to take action you can sue the arse off them under health and safety laws, and the equality act. What is your union doing?

3

That is appalling - no wonder you’re angry, anyone would be. And what planet is the Chairman of the Governors on that he thinks that not being bothered with the paperwork is an acceptable response to a complaint of bullying?! He deserves to be removed from his post as Chairman!

Good luck with your appeal meeting. As for sleeping, my mum always recommended a warm milky drink (hot chocolate or ovaltine if you prefer your milk flavoured) at bedtime as an aid to sleep.

4

Freckles - you have every right to rant over this, its completely unacceptable. Good luck with your hearing hun. Have you been keeping a diary of incidences? Depending on the outcome it might be good to keep one - especially if there are any witnesses.

Now deep calm breath and go kick their proverbial bottoms.

JBK xx

5

Freckles -

The woman is clearly a lunatic. She knows she has the hearing next week and yet she still yells stuff at you!! Just keep writing everything down, keep reporting it all and kick some butt at next week’s meeting. I wonder if she is trying to intimidate you more as the hearing gets nearer as she is hoping that you might back off. Don’t give her the satisfaction! She needs sorting.

I always remember something my mum told me. Beneath that exterior bullies are always scared and you just need to find their weak spot. She went off sick at the last hearing didn’t she? I reckon she is scared … Hold your head high - you have the law and morals on your side. Show her who is really the stupid one by winning the case and letting her show her true colours . It’s time those higher up at work saw her for what she is …

<>

Tracey xx

6

Hi Freckles That is disgusting, totally unacceptable! Your going through enough without some bully giving you grief! I really do hope your employers get this sorted at your hearing next week and show her that under no circumstances bullying will be tolerated. Polly x

7

Oh Freckles. That is so bad. She must have seen you had your daughter with you. Although it is just as awful if you had been on your own she must have known that it would upset your daughter too.

Don’t apologise for ranting over this. We are all here for you to rant whenever you need to.

I hope you get on really well at the grievance appeal.

Be thinking of you.

Shazzie xx

8

I’m sorry i don’t know your full story Feckles but …is this person a teacher?

What a disgusting way to speak to you especially as your daughter was with you.

good luck with the appeal

Teresa.x

9

Freckles,

It sounds awful, if a child at the school said that to another child then they’d probably miss their break time.

As a few have suggested, write down dates/times and what was said. You must mention it was said infront of your daughter as she is a minor. Was it on school property if so again it’s the schools business. Any witnesses?

If she’s a teacher that’s even worse and think her punishment should be so many hours cleaning the school.

Be strong, you’re the victim, let us know how you get on.

Jen x

10

If ur phone has voice record/video and you see her in your vicinity, you could possibly flick the record on and it maybe enough to catch what’s said. It’s absolutely disgusting behaviour by a small minded fool, who obviously has nothing happening in her life that she needs to involve herself in other peoples, sorry your daughter had to witness it, but sorry that you have also been subjected to this - try and stay strong, it will get sorted. Fingers crossed for you. Lynz x

11

hi freckles

you haven’t in any way, shape or form let down your youngest, the only thing you’ve done is shown how much class and grace you have, particularly when compared to the lousy b1tch who’s doing this to you. i’m in complete agreement with the other posters… don’t apologise for your posts (we all need a rant), come here for support whenever you need it and keep records of what’s going on at school. what kind of position do you (and that cow) have at school?

please let us know how your meeting goes. if a milky drink doesn’t help you sleep, what about a glass of wine or lager?

wendy xx

12

Hello Freckles

I agree with everyone else’s comments, plus the fact that she’s trying to intimidate you, like Tracey mentioned. Stay strong and don’t let her. She is sensing how strong and confident you are and must know you have been seeking help…she’s running scared.

You just carry on being your lovely self. You have definitley not let your youngest down, quite the opposite. This woman has no self respect or respect for others to behave in such a way. You on the other hand, are setting your daughter a good example by behaving in a dignified way.

When you go into that meeting you will be calm and assertive…because you telling the truth.

((((((hugs))))))

13

Hello my lovelies

Thanks for all your replies, it really gives me a boost to know how much support we can all have on here.

In answer to some of your questions:

My union is pretty rubbish says he’s never been in this situation before!

I’ve kept a diary of everything, dates and times etc. Have stopped recording when she calls me a bitch, because it’s everytime she passes me when no-one else is around.

At the last hearing she went off on the sick stating that she was stressed because she knows she’s going to lose her job! (Well take bl**dy ownership of what you are doing then!!)

She is a Nursery Nurse looking after vulnerable 3 year olds, I am a Teaching Assistant.

I am also Chair of the PTA at the school, and the lead first aider. (In this role I am line manager over some of the senior management team of the school! I am so powerful in respective rolls, but not when it comes to her)

I always try to have my phone ready but she is so opportunistic, that I never know when she’s going to appear. Also if there is someone else around she acts like she is the one who’s intimidated!

Reviewed the cctv, but was not in camera shot, gutted!

Said to my boss today I would have gone to the police by now if this wasn’t in school, and he said “Well I’m not telling you what to do, but what’s to stop you?” He’s a brilliant boss and extremely supportive, but his hands are tied by the stupid system we are in.

Am considering speaking to the police, but afraid of the repercutions!

As to a bit of help sleeping, don’t think I’d stop at a glass of wine would probably finish the bottle!

Freckles xxxxx

14

What an awful situation to be in Feckles.

I would hate to think that a person like this would be anywhere near my children.

She should not be working with children if she thinks it is acceptable to speak to you like she did in front of your daughter.

You are the better person and are dealing with this with class and dignity.

I can’t suggest anything that you haven’t done already but hopefully at some stage she will trip herself up and show herself for the person she really is.

She is a bully!

I would be thinking of ways of how i could set her up so the truth is plain to see. Not easy though i know.

Good luck

Teresa.x

15

Hello Freckles Speak to the police on the non emergency number 101 And they will give you a log number. It will be totally up to you so how far you take it, so you would be in control. Knowledge is power Freckles :slight_smile: (((((hugs))))))

16

Hey Freckles, I agree with Blossom, speak to the police, get a log number and then present that at the hearing. The fact that it has been reported the police makes it more official will either scare your employer/union into doing something, they don’t want that kind of potential bad publicity at their door, or will scare this cowardly spiteful woman.

It is incredible that such a nasty vindictive person works around children, I wouldn’t have wanted anyone with her kind of morals anywhere near my kids.

Wishing you all the very best, its a horrible road to gom down but I really think you can win this. Bullies should not be able to get away with it!

Take care xxxx

17

Hey Freckles, I agree with Blossom, speak to the police, get a log number and then present that at the hearing. The fact that it has been reported the police makes it more official will either scare your employer/union into doing something, they don’t want that kind of potential bad publicity at their door, or will scare this cowardly spiteful woman.

It is incredible that such a nasty vindictive person works around children, I wouldn’t have wanted anyone with her kind of morals anywhere near my kids.

Wishing you all the very best, its a horrible road to gom down but I really think you can win this. Bullies should not be able to get away with it!

Take care xxxx

18

So today I spoke to my stress councillor (Had a major melt down she assures me it often gets worse before it gets better!) She highly reccomended that i phone the police for advice. Also spoke to occ health, and a woman from remploy who both also urged me to phone the police.

So I did it!

They take any form of discrimination very seriously. Within 24 hrs an officer will contact me to go through it all. As it stands now there is a couple things they could do. One is something called a pin notice, where she would not be allowed to make any form of contact with me whatsoever. (Don’t know how it would work because we’re both in same school!) Also they told me that any physical contact is assault, so she needs to be very careful!

The fact that she swore in front of a minor in a public place can be classed as public disorder!

So head is spinning tummy turning, and basically not getting anywhere near enough sleeep. But hopefully the end of all this cr*p is in sight and I can get back to my normal life!

Freckles x

19

Hi freckles, It’s a positive step and you have done the right thing, stay strong, remember we’re all with you if you need to vent Lynsey x

20

You are a very brave woman Freckles. This is so stressful for you but not much further to go now. Stay strong Noreen xx