Ignorant people beware

Hi,

Im finding that im isolating myself more and more from people because of the rubbish that comes out of their mouth.

On monday i told an aunt of mine that in just over a week im seeing my neuro and its possible that i will have a ms diagnosis.

Her response was You are too old, she asked no questions about my scans or symptoms and i felt deflated yet again.

It hurts more as when her own daughter was unwell i asked about her daily and rang my cousin to see how she was doing.

My daughter says to ignore her but thats what i have a problem with, i said nothing back to her but have been dwelling on it ever since.

I listen for hours on end to my aunt going on about a pain in her back, a spot on her face or the fact that the leaves have blown on her garden or that the price of bread has gone up, or that she cant find a matching plug for her bathroom sink…pity.

Christine

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yeh, we all know how it feels to have someone make light or even nowt of our predicaments.

if you dont want to be frank with her, then maybe it`s best not to talk about your health at all…cos she obviously can only think about her own life.

It aint worth getting all upset over…her loss, not your`s…sadly!

pollx

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You are so right and yes i do want to be frank with her, my fear is i will go too far and tell her ome home truths. I did text her this morning explaining that her dismissive manner was upsetting for me, iv had to reply.

Just a thought…might not apply to you, but the idea of some one close having a serious & unknown condition is frightening. They don’t want to acknowledge the problem because doing so makes it real. My Dad couldn’t acknowledge my condition, I didn’t push it because I knew, what ever…he cared very much. As it happens, his problems were greater than mine as he isn’t here any more. He died fairly ignorant of what I’m going through & that makes me happy.

Your Aunt is probably fine talking to you about her poorly daughter, 'cause you’re not her, talking to you about your problem, different!

I do know what you mean though…frustrating eh!

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My Family is a really tricky subject too, they are supportive one minute but if i disagree with anything they say or do , its “after all we do for you!” I have recently moved house to closer to my sister, I had support where I lived before, I have nobody but her and her husband here. My daughter has left home to go to uni, she also has a job so it’s difficult for her to get home as often as we would both like, my sister has been very controlling, but not supportive. I’m feeling very lonely and hurt at the moment. I have take. A step bk from our relationship , which has been terrible. I’m home alone all day every day. She is aware I have been having difficulties with my MS yet has done nothing to support me. I am a very positive person, but I’m struggling don’t want to burden my daughter with all of the details.

I’v been looking online for an MS support group but there are none I. My area! I live In a little village between Doncaster and Lincoln all the web sites don’t have any resent updates or activity, if any of you could tell me of any you know? I would be very grateful. Jst want my happy back :slight_smile:

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MS & stress, NOT good! I lost my job, driving licence & both my parents. Then constantly told I am lucky, when placed virtually in a coma from medication, after being diagnosed with PPMS from nowhere. Then hounded to raise funding for the cause, after having 10k hacked from my bank. Lovely people out there. The icing on the cake, is living near drug addicts, alcoholics, fanatics & advised that anything creative I do for myself is wrong. Chin up Cristine. Other peoples opinions are pointless to absorb. Ignorance is bliss. Avoid the confused. Your life is yours. We all have our endless rants. It’s best to just switch off & enjoy a brew.

I agree that some family members may find it difficult because they care. But not this relative, so why doe it bother me so much, i really need to toughen up.

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Its so sad when people turn their backs on us in times of need. Im sorry that i cant be more help with groups in your area, maybe others from your area will get in touch.

In the meantime i hope you get some support on here .

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Words of wisdom puddle other peoples opinions are pointless to absorb. I will try tp apply that as im sick of carrying this heavy feeling and taking what people say to me so personally.

How did you manage to overcome so much trauma and still have the ability to remain logical.

Have a brew or whatever floats your boat & switch off. Being hounded by know it alls, is insanity. Do what feels right to you & forget what others choose. We are all different. In so many ways. Take care out there. It’s a mad world.

He did this, she did that, others did a lot of things. Just do your thing & be happy. That’s all that counts.

.

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[quote=“Lisa Eva”]

My Family is a really tricky subject too, they are supportive one minute but if i disagree with anything they say or do , its “after all we do for you!” I have recently moved house to closer to my sister, I had support where I lived before, I have nobody but her and her husband here. My daughter has left home to go to uni, she also has a job so it’s difficult for her to get home as often as we would both like, my sister has been very controlling, but not supportive. I’m feeling very lonely and hurt at the moment. I have take. A step bk from our relationship , which has been terrible. I’m home alone all day every day. She is aware I have been having difficulties with my MS yet has done nothing to support me. I am a very positive person, but I’m struggling don’t want to burden my daughter with all of the details.

I’v been looking online for an MS support group but there are none I. My area! I live In a little village between Doncaster and Lincoln all the web sites don’t have any resent updates or activity, if any of you could tell me of any you know? I would be very grateful. Jst want my happy back :slight_smile:

[/quote] my story & feelings, + a million other folks totally, mine?? where to start without loosing you? but i do love to read other folks probz & the bad deals & dammed shity ignorant & happily blinkerd oppinion of kin & shallow friendz!!

(CALM DOWN CALM DOWN!! ju), my step sister told me last yr, dont be a VICTIM!! when i spoke of some things that hapist me off, M/S + familly thingz, now the thing is, i’m not thick & she aint brite but she must have rememberd the line from a xmass cracker!!

hey yal, take care & js remember, ya better than them! winkwinkjulien x

Im working on it, really i am. It was in my head last thing last night and then again this morning.I know i need to let go of it and then something pops in my head and tells me to send a text or to tell her this something and so on…

Im hoping the calm will come after the storm, i dont think the storm has gone yet. Why do some small things trigger such emotion, my thoughts on this are that this aunt has historically caused me emotional harm throughout the years and jusst when i think i can tolerate her again shes says something that takes me right back.

I have had a few people think that MS is ME and they have a lack of interest in ME. They think ME is a non disease. I know nothing about ME. The only thing I do know is that I have two friends who have got it and they both fakers. Well, one of them is definitely a faker and I think the other is a hypochondriac.

But let me not be judgmental about them, perhaps people think it is ME.

Also, many years ago when I was first diagnosed somebody from the church said to me ‘I had a touch of that once, I know what it’s like’. How you can have a touch of multiple sclerosis is beyond me.

Flo

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It is a problem when people don’t understand what you’re going through, sometimes the only way they can deal with it is to ignore it. A sad indictment on society I suppose. End of the day, all you can do is try to educate or ignore.

The opposite can also be true. I went to a charity do a couple of weeks ago and met someone who my wife knew. All she wanted to talk to me about all evening was MS and how she used to work for someone with it. Drove me nuts, wanted to tell her that MS isn’t all I am. The amount she had to drink probably didn’t help.

Someone was telling me that their relation had either MS or ME, they described them as a bit nasty, takes lots of meds and has a stick…what do you say to that…

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I think i have to ignore, at the moment no energy to educate.

You should do what’s best for you. Look after yourself.

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Do you honestly need to allow this toxic person in your life? It really is too short you know.

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Could be either…???