Hello everyone,
Does anyone feel the same? I am a very private person and the idea of anyone coming into my home to help with cleaning is just awful to me, makes me feel extremely anxious. So I do it all, but sometimes it seems I do nothing else! I feel strangely ashamed of that…
I live alone, my partner is in another country.
So I try to make the best of it, do what I can when I’m able, put some music on…
I was like you - I always joked if I had a cleaner I would be cleaning before the cleaner arrived. But I’m finding now I am only doing the basics and I’m coming around to the idea of a cleaner - don’t think I would want to be around when they came in though - I would feel guilty for not doing the job myself!
I fought with this for an age, no way was I having a cleaner, but then sadly it had to happen and what a blessing it was, 2 lovely ladies came to mine and the relief I felt at having my home looking the way I used to be able to make it look. Then in 2015 my hubby had to take early retirement to look after me and straight away he wanted to do it, so he has since then and honestly, what a great job he does. So don’t beat yourself up, a lot on here will have struggled
with this, good luck to you.
Jean
Hi, that’s the spirit lass, do what you can, when you can.
Boudsxxx
I used to think the same as you…a bit embarrassed that I couldn’t do the job myself - until we had someone come in to give the house a going over before putting it on the market. It was a revelation! We’re both a bit random when it comes to cleaning… and when the fatigue makes itself felt, it’s nigh on impossible to keep the house in the sort of order I’d like to see it in. So we gave the cleaner a try - she’s very good, thorough, and trustworthy so I can cope, occasionally. (Decided not to move in the end… but am happy to have the place cleaned for occasions like the arrival of guests…)
You’re so lovely and I’m so lazy! I have had a cleaner in the past and can’t wait to get one again! I love the saved energy- it does make a huge difference. I love the house been all ‘done’ throughout. I love that I have had to learn to be tidy so the cleaner can just clean. I used to have long chats with my cleaner. I would laugh till I cried, there was nothing they hadn’t seen in people’s homes but they knew that life is hectic. My cleaner was delighted to have the job, the regular hours with some flexibility were really important. I cannot recommend a good cleaner enough. Just go for it and use the saved energy on something for you! Best wishes.
It’s worth having a think about where those feelings are coming from. Do you fear the judgement of others? Or does your discomfort come from within you and, if so, what lies at the heart of it, do you think? Pondering these things won’t necessarily change how you feel, but might give you a bit of insight into why you feel the way you do, and might even allow you to be a little kinder and more forgiving towards yourself and the MS-caused limitations that are frustrating of course, but are absolutely not your fault.
I’ve had a cleaner for some time now, and felt much like you, but my energy was far too precious to waste doing housework.
I got used to it eventually, although it took a while.
I’m on my second cleaner now, the first having retired. We’re friends now too.
Thank you to everyone for your replies. It’s really interesting to hear different perspectives, different situations, different ideas.
The comment from Bouds really cheered me actually. It’s like I sometimes feel ashamed I’m not asking for help. I think this is because I feel it is a weakness of mine that I don’t trust people easily, am anxious about hygiene. I suppose you could say that I’m a ‘clean freak’, maybe there’s an element of control freak. There is definitely a lot of anxiety involved, and it has got worse as I have become more affected by my MS.
So Alison, your reply definitely makes me think. Thank you!