Thanks for the support all xxx
I just don’t know where to turn tonight x hubby is away and I don’t feel I can talk to anyone else but you lot! I’m so fed up of feeling ill - and although I’m better than I have been over the last few months I’m far from being well x
Looking back now I feel like I must have imagined it all - exaggerated it and overeacted!!
All the painful stiffness, the electric shocks round my middle and down my back, the horrible painful hug, the numbness up my leg and in my thighs, the burning sensation, the heat intolerance/altered perception, the blurred vision, muscle twitches, spectacular fasciculations, cramps & spasms, bladder problems, horrendous fatigue that had me sleeping 4-6 hours a day - was it all real??? Or imagined???
A lot of the symptoms have gone now & I’m left with some stiffness, fatigue, not being able to walk far without pain, not feeling my bladder at all and the odd twitches & of course the vision loss that is now glaucoma.
Maybe I imagined the doctors saying it has nothing to do with my previous spinal injuries - that it’s neurological - maybe I imagined the neuro surgeon and 2 GP’s saying I’ve got hypereflexia with sustained clonus plus plus plus and a positive Babinski response - maybe my pituitary gland isn’t enlarged and if it is maybe I’ve just naturally got an XXL one!!
I keep thinking maybe I should put it all behind me & give up chasing a diagnosis - and if it comes back wth a vengeance - like it has before several times - maybe I should just ‘put up & shut up’!
It’s just not worth feeling like this! Like I’m a whingeing hypochondriac!!!
It’s really affecting my mental health now and I don’t want to go down that road!
I also don’t know what to do about work - they are going to think I’m some kind of nutter who has made such a fuss about nothing!
So sorry all xxx I just feel like I’ve hit a brick wall head on and have nobody to turn to - nowhere to go next!
No plan B!!!
I’ll get over this I know - but that’s how I’m feeling right at this moment!!! xxxjenxxx