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Have anybody had to give up work?

Hello, I was recently diagnosed in October 2012, I had not worked for the three weeks leading up to my diagnosis and then finally my hospital admission. I was then told I was not to work for the next 3 months. I am a cooking teacher and rely heavily on having lots of patience, strength and endurance in my day. Which often I have trouble doing this in my normal day. I find that I have trouble multi tasking, staying on track, easily distracted ( I was getting into the shower and here I am!) finishing tasks, (dishwasher still not fully packed!) and have very limited patience somedays. I also have weakness in my left arm and find that somedays I could really sleep the day away! I really can not see myself going back to work. and I am someone that if I can not do it with 110% like I did before getting sick then I can not do it half heartedly. Everybod has stold me to not stress with the little things like messy house etc, but I find this very hard as being organised and tidy is me! that who makes me ME! With not working I have been anle to say to myself that bler! the dishes aren’t done will do them tomorrow! but when you work their is No tomorrow!

So I am wondering if anybody else has had to quit work and how did you go about telling your employer? I am very nervous and scared as I loved my job and I know they dont want me to go!

thank you x

Hi, i have not yet been diagnosed yet, but the way i feel at present i can relate a lot to what you are saying. I am a supply teacher but have been unable to work since the middle of January. It is driving me mad! I really struggle with patience at the moment, i have 2 young children of my own and am finding looking after them a lot more difficult!

Vic

Simple answer: yes, a lot of us do.

Important answer: DON’T RESIGN!

The fact that you have a diagnosis of MS gives you automatic protection from the Equality Act. That means that your employer has to provide “reasonable adjustments” to allow you to stay in work, e.g. different equipment, different hours, even a different job if it’s doable.

Also, how are you going to manage financially if you leave? Have you thought this through properly?

If you aren’t ready to go back, then wait a while longer - if it’s RRMS, then there is every chance that you will continue to improve; it’s still very early days.

This new you may not be the “ME” that you have in your mind right now, but life never steers a straight course; changes happen all the time and we have to learn to adjust, including adjusting our self image. I was a workaholic, crazily ambitious, perfectionist, dynamic businesswomen when I was diagnosed. I am now a very much happier, nicer person who actually spends time with her family, does things that aren’t related to work and spends a lot of time helping others for no pay or recognition. Both of these people are “me” and the change from the first to the second me was painful at the time, but I infinitely prefer her!

You are going through a major change - you will find your way and, you never know, you might prefer the new you too :slight_smile:

Take your time. Don’t make big decisions right now.

Karen x

Hi my husband was diagnosed in february 2013 he is still working he hasnt told them he wants to keep it secret as long as possible .He has hid in toilet when had a tremor at work and when speach went funny blamed it on being tierd.He will have to tell them but he is worried they will sent him home on sick .He is not a danger to anyone as he works alone,he has a different job as he is visually inpaired has lost central vision in both eyes for last 2 years carries a white cane .He packs samples and has video magnifer to read labels.He has tremors on right side only and gets confused alot slurs speach.I think he may have to stop soon as he gets very tierd.I worry about him we have to little children.He is a fighter and wont give in to ms. luv jue

HI Shann36 - Was dx in Nov 12 and sooo identify with what you are saying! I work with the elderly and I used to have loads of patience and spend extra time taking them out/chatting after I’d finished work, go in on days off for one to one time with some, and so on. Everything is sooo much effort now - some days I could cry 'cause I feel so exhausted. I mostly leave work on time these days and ‘crash out’ when I get home. The housework isn’t done to the standard it was previously, I don’t invite friends to come for a meal in the way that I used to - and when folk do come round there’s alot less of the ‘home made’ about the meals I serve up! I used to be busy looking out for others, but now I need to look out for me some of the time! It’s not how I want it to be, but I’m in the process of getting my head round it - and I do enjoy spending more time at home with hubbie. I have thought about reducing my hours, but I need to be sure that would be the best thing for ME - so I’m taking my time to ‘see how things go’ at the moment. As Karen has already said, don’t resign because you have lots of protection under the Disability Act. Do think about whether a reduction in your hours would be beneficial - and take your time about when to go back to work and what changes would be beneficial to YOU.

My sister in law said to me a few weeks ago that I’m a lot more laid back than I used to be and “I like the new you” - I guess people don’t always expect from us what we expect from ourselves.

Good luck,

Hazel

I’m undxd and self employed and haven’t worked since last September!! I just can’t manage it anymore!

Thank you! thank you! I only work 3 1/2 days a week as it was the perfect job to have when all my children went off to school! My husband runs a plumbing business so I guess Im lucky in the fact that I do not really work for the money! It was just something to do as the kids at school, its at my kids school, in the street and school holidays off! so was perfect. I definately would not be bored as I do the paperwork for our business, still have two children and a household to run and also my eldest son has has High Functioning Autism and about to start his transistion to high school! so there is lots going on! I also have my mother living in our backyard in a granny flat. So def no time to be bored! I think not working I am actually up to date with my paperwork as I was the THE worst secretary! I think I may just stay on unpaid sick leave and see how it goes!

My job is really not one that can be altered to suit my needs, and I kind of feel guilty if it does get altered as it wouldnt run as it should and this inturn effects the students! So I may give it more time! I have wage insurance with my superannuation which is under review as I type, I also have TPD cover which my neurologist has filled in all paperwork so will wait and see!

Thank you and Julie F what an amazing hubby you have! hope it works out for him! Vic I get what you are saying about patience? I have two children and as I said my eldest with special needs too and somedays my hubby says my head spins and smoke and fire come out my ears! My kids have said to me “mummy you dont yell as much now that you are not working!” this breaks my heart strings as they are my priority over anything else, and I cant justify trying to get through the looking after everybody elses children while my own suffer the consequences! so will just wait and see!

Cheers all and thanks xo

Thank you! thank you! I only work 3 1/2 days a week as it was the perfect job to have when all my children went off to school! My husband runs a plumbing business so I guess Im lucky in the fact that I do not really work for the money! It was just something to do as the kids at school, its at my kids school, in the street and school holidays off! so was perfect. I definately would not be bored as I do the paperwork for our business, still have two children and a household to run and also my eldest son has has High Functioning Autism and about to start his transistion to high school! so there is lots going on! I also have my mother living in our backyard in a granny flat. So def no time to be bored! I think not working I am actually up to date with my paperwork as I was the THE worst secretary! I think I may just stay on unpaid sick leave and see how it goes!

My job is really not one that can be altered to suit my needs, and I kind of feel guilty if it does get altered as it wouldnt run as it should and this inturn effects the students! So I may give it more time! I have wage insurance with my superannuation which is under review as I type, I also have TPD cover which my neurologist has filled in all paperwork so will wait and see!

Thank you and Julie F what an amazing hubby you have! hope it works out for him! Vic I get what you are saying about patience? I have two children and as I said my eldest with special needs too and somedays my hubby says my head spins and smoke and fire come out my ears! My kids have said to me “mummy you dont yell as much now that you are not working!” this breaks my heart strings as they are my priority over anything else, and I cant justify trying to get through the looking after everybody elses children while my own suffer the consequences! so will just wait and see!

Cheers all and thanks xo