it used to be that i was never happier, and really in my element when i had a houseful of people where i would cook like crazy and take huge please in being hostess and creating wonderful food and happy atmosphere. Some christmases would see me cooking for 18 people and having loads of family staying over for a few days. I used to absolutely love it! I feel so sad today, it’s my husband’s 50th birthday and we have planned a party for him tomorrow, but instead of really looking forward to it i’m just dreading it. I have done my best to keep the food side of things simple and have enlisted help with the preparations but today I have to make the birthday cake. Sods law i had a terrible night with spasms and tremors keeping up for hours and this morning i’m shaky, dizzy and nauseous and the thought of getting down to start cooking and preparing the house. My hubby really doesn’t me to overdo it and put his foot down saying i’m not to take it on as he knows how difficult it will be for me, but me being me chose to ignor him telling myself i’ll be fine, but begining to think he’s so right! Luckily he at work till quite late tonight so won’t see me doing some of the stuff so may get away with it . It how these symptoms have changed my life and taken the joy out things I enjoy. I used to be such a capable and energitic person, i’ve changed so much now Oh well, time for me to stop grizzling and just get on with it. Need to give myself a good talking to and take a more positive approach me thinks. Rant over…sorry.
You could have taken the words right out of my mouth. I really hate not being the capable wife and Mum etc. I really push and push myself and it just gets harder and harder. Years ago I promised to take my daughter to New York on her 21st birthday. It is in 2 years time and I would need a miracle to happen in order for me to take her. I was at a wedding recently and I sat there wondering if I would still be on my feet when my children get married!
When I was moving house my daughter looked at my good china and said “you might as well sell this on Ebay because you’re not going to do any entertaining” It was a blow but oh so true. It’s really hard to accept that life has changed and that we are not the person we once were.
As I get older I blame everything on age not MS but it’s still sh*tty. My head wants to do things that my body can’t handle.
If you still want to have people round, next time let M and S do the catering. It might not be what you are used to but a shop bought cake is better than a strung out you!
I did my daughter’s wedding in a wheelchair (stood up for all the photos though – the vanity!) it was OK. AS for New York. In a chair you could do it – I would in a heart beat.
My sympathy. It is all just such a filtered word, the learning to live within one’s means, energy-wise. I just hate it. I hope you all enjoy the birthday. Sorry the preps are just a slog rather than a pleasure - I relate to that completely!
Hi, it is a shame you will find doing what you did best, so knackering. I can tell you are going to give it your best shot.
I am sure it will all be smashing, but hate to think how it will make you feel.
Just smile, enjoy and then crash the next 2 days or so to recover.
My daughter is getting married soon and I will be pictured in my wheelie, with my red and black fascinator, black trouser suit with red loose blouse, and the biggest smile on my face.
I wont have to do a thing,as they will do it all…unlike her first and her sister`s weddings, which I organised myself.
Enjoy the big day!
Its awful when the mind is willing but the body just cant cope. I can really sympathise. I used to be the same and i used to have a party new yrs eve with all family. The last couple of years i have still had my party but all the family have had to start to bringing things with them to help. I even ordered in take-away one year as i really couldn’t manage it. We still had a great time though. Its very frustrating and difficult to come to terms with. Hope all goes well and get plenty of rest afterwards. Teresa.x
Thanks all. Got everything done that needed doing today and I have help tomorrow. Luckily Friday night is takeaway night so at least I don’t have to worry about dinner tonight The cake looks like a 5 year old made it, but it’s the thought that counts. Quite lucky there is a cake at all, mixed it all up, put the batter in the tins, set the oven, came back to check on it and realised oven was nice and hot but empty… i’d forgotten to put the flippin cakes in the oven! AND, I ordered all the food and wine for home delivery from Tesco and have just realised all the wine I ordered is very low alcohol, which, if you knew my family you’d realise that just will not do! Honestly that’s typical of me at the moment . Did manage to have a sleep this afternoon though so feeling more chipper now. x
Know just how you feel. l love entertaining and in the past could cater for large crowds - no problem at all. But now, physically, l am stumped. But the thing to remember is that there are so many able-bodied folk who would have no idea how to entertain friends and family. We have always had ‘guests’ here at least once a week - usually Sunday dinner. l am the sort of cook who has always made everything from scratch - but l have learnt that you can ‘cheat’ and make life easier. Morrisons sell a very large chocolate cake filled with cream - its easy to add a few decorations and strawberries or cherries to make it look your own.
Aldi have some really good quality desserts in the freezer section. l catered for a wedding, last August, 70 guests. And friends who were helping with the ‘waitressing’ put me onto these puds. We portioned them up whilst still frozen and arranged them with summer berries - dusting of icing sugar - and wow - they were amazing. You could not have made them yourself for the money. So l am becoming a good cheat without a conscience.
lts called ‘cheating fairly’.
Very pleased to say the party was a complete success and everyone had a great time The following day i was absolutely in a mess, completely washed out, tremor and pins and needles very bad, I guess just tiredness and being out in the sun for most of the day. Anyway it was worth it, really enjoyed it. Proabaly going to have to accept that i can’t do these very often now though Stupid “symptoms” just wish they would go away!