I’ve been off work since the end of September 2012 due to various symptoms rearing their ugly heads again - I’m not diagnosed but am under investigation for possible MS or neuro disorder. Although my main symptoms have eased off, others are still making life difficult, especially the sudden fatigue which I never see coming, it just hits me like a sledgehammer.
Last week in a difficult and very onesided discussion with my manager (she’s the type who does all the talking and somehow railroads you into saying things your not really confident about), it was agreed that I would go back to work on Thursday 22nd November on a phased return.
The problem is that the closer it’s getting to the 22nd the more anxious I’m becoming about leaving home and going out to work again. For the majority of my time off I have rarely left the house, only for doctors appointments and one very embarassing food shop which resulted in me spending approx 90 minutes in Tesco’s public toilets due to sudden bowel issues. Since then I have been doing my food shopping online and having it delivered.
My manager is due to phone me tomorrow to discuss my return to work and what I really want to do is tell her I’m not ready but I know she will ask me why and to be honest the only reason I don’t want to go back is the overwhelming anxiety I’m feeling. I don’t think she would accept this as a reason for me not to return and she will begin her relentless questioning of my illness and it’s varying symptoms again, none of which she understands. She will also be unhappy that I have left it till the day before I am due to return to inform her of how I’m feeling, but to be honest I didn’t know I would feel like this. I’ve never suffered from anxiety before and it’s quite a strange feeling.
I would really appreciate any advice even if it is just a shake or a kick up the backside and told to get over myself, if that’s what you think I need x
Tell your boss how anxious you’re feeling! It’s totally understandable after such an illness and such a long break. The very best advice I can give is to be open and honest with her. BUT…go back anyway, face your demons and don’t avoid going back yet - otherwise you’ll find it even harder to take that step later on. You’ll probably find it isn’t as bad as you’re imagining anyway. Sometimes we have to do the difficult things, however anxious they make us feel.
Hi Anon, If I were you I would visit my GP and tell him/ her how you are feeling. He/she may decide that you are not well enough (mentally) for work yet and sign you off. Then you can tell your boss that you have been signed off by your GP. Hope you get some help. Teresa xx
hi I know exactly how u feel last Monday morning I woke up in tears completely overwhelmed with the sheer thought of having to face work ( I love my job truely I do) and having to stand n walk about all day whilst plastering a smile on my face, when sll I wanted to do was hide under the duvet. I too am not dx yet but I’d spoken to my manager the week b4 n I’d actually said i the convo that I wouldn’t let this (poss MS) interfere with my job "/ so u can imagine how it felt to be calling her in tears telling her I couldn’t face it I felt so guilty but I also needed some time to recoup she to is the kind of manager who makes u feel as tho u can’t say no but I rang my GP n they signed me off for a week I’ve since been back to the GP and have been signed off for another 2 wks, she wasn’t to happy but that’s her problem not mine lol I don’t get paid enough to worry haha the point I’m trying to make is that I went into see her spoke with her n said I’d be in a few times to see them which means I shouldn’t feel so anxious about returning when the time comes I wish u all the best on ur convo n ur return but if u really feel u just can’t manage it atm them I to say try n see ur GP 2moro n see if they will extend ur sick note Lou xx
I agree with Tree on this; see your GP. Don’t forget if you need any help; taxis to and from; infrastructure; furniture; software or hardware; things to aid you in employment contact https://www.gov.uk/access-to-work You do not need to be diagnosed.
Hi, I can so understand what you are going through, like you I’ve not been dx yet, I had my first MRI scan last Saturday. I returned to work 2 weeks ago, as I wasn’t getting paid anymore ( as the only one paying the mortgage I don’t have many options ) but my GP is saying that I’ve returned too soon, and my headaches are due to stress. This morning I emailed y boss and said that I needed to book the day off as a holiday date, luckily I have some hols left, but I would much rather use them to sit somewhere in the sun. Try not to be too hard on yourself, if you go back before you are well enough you may end up doing more damage in the long run, take it easy, sod your boss, you are the one that’s ill.
xx