Funny thisa

Everyday living
1

As I was lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that
at my age I don’t really care that much anymore. If walking is good for
your health, the postman would be immortal. A whale swims all day, only
eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat. A rabbit runs and hops and only
lives 15 years, while a tortoise doesn’t run and does mostly nothing, yet it
lives for 150 years. And you tell me to exercise? I don’t think so.
Just grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good
fortune to remember the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Now that I’m older here’s what I’ve discovered:

  1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

  2. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.

  3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.

  4. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.

  5. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.

  6. If all is not lost, then where the heck is it?

  7. It was a whole lot easier to get older than to get wiser.

  8. Some days you’re the top dog; some days you’re the hydrant.

  9. I wish the buck really did stop here; I sure could use a few of them.

  10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

  11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

  12. It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.

  13. The world only beats a path to your door when you’re in the bathroom.

  14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he’d have put them on my knees.

  15. When I’m finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play
    chess.

  16. It’s not hard to meet expenses – they’re everywhere.

  17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

  18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter. I go
    somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I’m “here after.”

  19. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.

  20. HAVE I SENT THIS MESSAGE TO YOU BEFORE?

2

Thanks wb You’ve just given me a good laugh before I go to bed. Very funny :slight_smile:

3

Thanks Wb - I have all of that to look forward too!!! And in 20 years time I’ll still be saying that

JBK xx

4

they made me chuckle, thanks WB. I especially liked no 13, that has been the case ever since I had a child. Although he is now independent I can guarantee that if I wait in all day for a delivery, it will arrive as soon as I pop to the bathroom …

Tracey xx

5

Brilliant!! I was feeling really down this morning… Now I’m smiling :-)))

6

Borrowed!

7

thanks wb!

i loved no 14 - if god wanted em to touch my toes he’d have put them on my knees!

(very apt that one - i used to be able to put the flat of my hands on the floor with legs straight but now … creeakk)

now i cant remember what i was doing.

carole x

8

Enjoyed that, thanks