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***For the Mums***No nuts, just little ones wisdom***

Answers given by 2nd year school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?

1. She’s the only one who knows where the selotape is.

2. Mostly to clean the house.

3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?

1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.

2… Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.

3. God made my mum just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mum?

1. We’re related.

2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s mum like me.

What kind of a little girl was your mum?

1. My mum has always been my mum and none of that other stuff.

2. I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.

3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mum need to know about dad before she married him?

1. His last name.

2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?

3. Does he make at least 1 million a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mum marry your dad?

1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mum eats a lot.

2. She got too old to do anything else with him.

3. My grandma says that mum didn’t have her thinking cap on.

Who’s the boss at your house?

1. Mum doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because dad’s such an idiot.

2. Mum. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.

3. I guess mum is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What’s the difference between mums and dads?

1. Mums work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.

2. Mums know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.

3. Dads are taller and stronger, but mums have all the real power 'cause that’s who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.

4. Mums have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mum do in her spare time?

1. Mothers don’t do spare time.

2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mum perfect?

1. On the inside she’s already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.

2. Diet. You know, her hair. I’d diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mum, what would it be?

1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I’d get rid of that.

2. I’d make my mum smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.

3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

Happy Mothers day Mums & happy giggles all round.

H

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Sorry AGAIN everyone, I know this will be harder to read for some of you & I am sorry, but I can’t edit the way I could on the old forum…

H

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Thankyou Thankyou Thankyou Hazel - what a good start to the day. l am cooking sunday lunch for my mum - and a friend of mine who is on her own - sons living abroad. And a lovely couple who would be on their own today - and the wife is severely disabled -[but still loves her food] My daughter is excused Smothering Sunday duties.She spends sundays with the ponies - extra grooming-mucking out and a ride.

All the best to you

F.

brilliant just brilliant- we are all in tears

BCxx

Hiya Dafty!

In tears here! I thought I had none left after last night! (went to see Hormonal Housewives-if you get the chance then GO girls!)

I was left zzz until 11am when Mol woke me and had coffee and toast and OJ ready for me in the kitchen. She knows I dont like brekkie in bed-because in it ends up in the bed and not in ma gob! (no comments please!)

She has painted me an orange (of course!) clear stone and made me a pink/blue necklace. (from a kids craft set but I have promised to wear it tomorrow no matter what clothes I am wearing so am expecting some strange looks tomorrow!)

Sandy painted me a glass coaster-with loads of hearts on it BUT…

the best things by far are the homemade cards! I will let you see them next time we meet

Ellie xxx (still in nightie and plan to stay this way until tomorrow morning!)

Kids are so cute