So, my employers today informed tha Managers that they are treating us to a whole day out, on a week day, all expenses paid, lunch, drinks transport etc. Fantastic, it’s a lovely thing to do and a wonderful gesture to be recognised as the hard working management team that we are.
But… it’s a day out in the countryside, clay pigeon shooting, using real guns (not real pigeons) . WIll be in the grounds of a stately home, will be outside all day and will end with a shooting competition. Everyone is really excited about and been talking about nothing else all morning.
I looked up the place, it has no disabled facilities, the shooting takes place in vast grounds and quite a long way from the main house and toilet facilites. So with my really poor vison, tremors, weakness, balance and bladder problems, there is no practical way I can attend. Someone said couldn’t I just come along and watch…oh woopy dooooo, i’ll just hang around in a field all day and watch them have fun, don’t think so!
I hate sounding ungrateful, i’m really not but I can’t help feeling excluded. I wouldn’t expect them to arrange the whole thing around accomodating me, I just feel so sad that I can’t take part in things like this now. Flippin’ illness!!! I hate it
Isn’t it odd how we manage to take the big things in our stride, but a little thing comes along out of the blue and just hits us where it hurts? The symbolic stuff can just be an emotional killer, I know, and it can stir up difficult emotions, including ones we prefer not to pay much attention to in the normal, busy day-to-day. Until something like this happens, and those feelings rush out of the shadows and mug us.
So, the normals on the management team feel all excited about the prospect of a lovely team bonding day in the woods; you feel sad and bruised and left out! Well done, MS! Ah well. Sometimes things are just a total pisser, and there’s nothing for it but a very large glass of wine and a bit of a wallow.
The next thing I would do, in your shoes, would be to be terribly cheerful and brave and explain clearly and firmly why you will not be able to participate, and how you are sure they will have a lovely day and you can’t wait to see the pictures and hear all about it. Having secured brownie points for being a brick, you can turn your attention to planning a really lovely bonus day of leave doing whatever you like best - massage, hair-do, pedicure, elegant lunch out, whatever. When they’re freezing in a windswept field in the horizontal sleet, being shouted at by retired Sergeant-Majors and having their shoulders half-dislocated by unaccustomed recoil, they might feel that you have got the better deal.
Hi, Alison has got something there…maybe if you explain in an ever so nice way, why the outing would be difficult for you, they may offer you an alternative treat…a spa day?
I know how the feeling of being left out feels…it`s orrible!
Yeah I have explained, and did it in a nice way so all sorted there. Not sure they get why I don’t want toi stand in a field watching them all day, but hey ho, no way to explain these things to people who don’t understand.
And now, because all of the Managers are going to be out that day, I have been assigned to an internal audit that needs to be done. Oh lucky me!!! I will make sure I get a day in leiu tho and do something nice
Your’re right Alison, I go day to day accepting things I can’t do, but occassionally things come along that really bring it home. Even more annoying when I don’t have a definate dx so still don’t understand why i’m like this!
At least it’s Friday today, a large glass of wine or 2 for me tonight I think
Hi again. Oh being stuck in the office on your tod isnt half as nice as enjoying a spa day. A day off in lieu doesnt compensate you for the loss of a fun day out…will your manager see that?
I doubt it Poll but I will make sure I get brownie points for being the only one staying back and working.
Wouldn’t be so bad if I hadn’t had to miss the xmas one they did too. It was a pub crawl round london, trvaelling by train to get there, then walking to several pubs and finishing up at a night club until about 2.00 a.m. There was just no way I could have done it, I thought maybe they realised then that more thought needs to be put into these things but it seems not.
Oh well, i’m going to stop moaning now and let it go, just stressing myself out, I know none of it was intentional on any of my colleagues part, just one of those things I suppose.
Inclusion does matter!! personally I would make a hooha!! About it, you say your part of a management team, does this team manage people, cause this would concern me greatly if your inclusion wasn’t considered as a team member where does anyone being managed stand who fits into possible considerations within any of the support groups.
Seems a day spent on diversity in the workplace would be more appropriate than clay pigeon shooting .
No way they can get you a golf cart to zip about in? Maybe incontinence pants or one of those portable urinals you see in the Sunday supplements, if you had a big bag like the ones people use for kids you could hide a ton of stuff in it.
It’s not a great solution and means you’re on the lookout for places to use the urinal (bring water to rinse the thing) and maybe roping in a friend to hold up a travel rug or something but it would get you out. Althernatively suggest a spa day or something gender-neutral for those people who aren’t shooters - not everyone likes clay pigeon shooting. A family BBQ with events would have been more fun, something for everyone.
I have a compulsion to try and solve problems so if I’m talking rubbish don’t take offence - I hate being left out of stuff like that for whatever reason.