Feeling hurt and offended

Good afternoon all. Last month marked 16 years since my PPMS diagnosis. I’m lucky, I feel well, people tell me I look well, and I’m not in pain. I can’t live independently now, but do as much as I can when I can. I long ago came to terms with the fact of so called friends abandoning us, probably because they were afraid of being asked to help. Something I’m finding more difficult is a couple of former colleagues who claim to be my friends, maybe I’m being over sensitive.
They’ve often said we’ll meet up for lunch (I know with Covid we couldn’t) but it never happens, even though when it’s been mentioned (usually via social media) I’ve said I’d love to. I tutored them both at work, I taught them everything I knew, oh they say all the right things like, if you need anything, just ask. Anyway apart from the lunches which haven’t happened, they’ve both changed jobs, the first leaving do was in a venue where the function room was upstairs, no lift, I was invited but I had to decline. The second was in a suitable venue, but I was told, I didn’t invite you, because I knew you wouldn’t come, and she applied the same logic to her birthday party, despite telling me after the event she’d have loved for me to be there! The thing is I do still like to be invited, I won’t always be able to attend, but I’d like to make that choice myself, rather than be routinely excluded, perhaps they think they’re sparing me embarrassment.

However I’m grateful for those friends who do still include me, who offer help without me having to ask, so I probably shouldn’t feel so hurt and offended by these two.

Thoughts anyone?

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Hi Flowerpot

I’m glad you sound like you are managing your MS. I’m new to the forum and this is my first post. I was diagnosed in 2000 with RRMS and am working full time in the nhs. I hope to retire asap.

Anyway enough about me. I am with you and feel your pain! My sister frequently declines invites on my behalf before I even get a chance to think about it.
She then calls me ‘prickly’ when I protest.
I am thinking that it’s very much the norm to lose touch with ex colleagues ?
Maybe you can make new friends here? That’s certainly my main reason for joining here- even if it is virtual :blush:

Welcome, I don’t visit this forum often, but there’s loads of support and friendship (even if it is virtual) here. It’s good to talk to people who understand without having to explain. I suppose it is usual to lose touch with colleagues when you retire to some extent, but what was upsetting me were the promises to meet up or visit that never materialise, especially when I see from Facebook they’ve met up, and I could’ve gone too. Anyway no more, I’m going to be more thick skinned about it. There are others who do truly care, and I appreciate those all the more.

Take care.