Feeling Pretty Sorry for Myself

Hi all,

I generally try to be positive about the challenge of living with MS but I’m having a really tough time.

I had my bladder botox re done on the 5th July. It’s always been ok before but this time I had a lot of blood for two days. Next I got an infection and the first lot of antibiotics made me feel really very sick and ill. My mam had to man handle me to the doctors in a taxi and wheelchair on Friday, they refused to come out or do anything over the phone. They changed my antibiotic so at least I don’t feel sick anymore and I can eat but I feel much much worse than normal.

The heats not helping, I can’t sleep and when I get up on a morning I feel so hot and woozy I can barely move. I feel so tired all I can eat are pre made sandwiches, I live on my own so my poor mam who’s 68 is having to look after me. Add to this I’ve just had to switch to avvonex from rebif so I’m getting the side effects again and I feel so crap I don’t know what to do with myself.

My ms nurse says it’s just everything joining together that’s making me feel so bad and let’s face it she’ll know but in 13 years I’ve never felt so ill with it, lucky you some of you are probably thinking, and I know but I’m getting frightened that I’m never going to recover. I just want to feel a tiny bit better each day so I know I’m going in the right direction.

So there it is in all my self pitying glory. I promise I really am normally so positive I’m just having a horrible lonely time of it.



hi dawn

you’re allowed to moan. we all are.

i don’t complain about ms at home because hubby once made a comment about me always moaning. (i don’t always moan, it was a one off and not at all like his man flu!)

so, trying to put this in a positive way -

  • the anti biotics will help eventually

  • the weather will cool down eventually.

trouble is, when eventually eventually arrives we could well have several other niggles!

i find a foul mouthed rant in an empty house helps!

carole xxxx

Hi Dawn Sounds like you’ve had a really rough time. I hope things get better for you and the avonex starts to work. Nothing wrong with a pity party every now and then - sounds especially deserved in your case! I hope the drugs start to work and you begin to feel things are getting better. ((((Hugs)))) Jane xx

Hi Dawn, As the others have said we all need to have a darn good rant every so often. I luckily so far have not experienced your problem but feel for you all the same. Sorry you have to go through this but let’s hope the drugs work quickly and you get more comfortable again. Sending (((((HUGS))))) Janet x

Thank you ladies.

I’m always amazed by the support we all give each other. Very very much appreciated.

Xxx Dawn

Hi Dawn I’m sorry to hear that it’s all taking such a toll. I think we all have days when we want to cry/scream/swear/lash out because we’re not in control of our own bodies. You’re not alone-even though we haven’t all had the same battle, we’re fighting the same enemy, so to speak…and we’re here for you and for each other, on good days and bad. Feel better soon hon, and take each day as it comes. It will get better x

Hello Dawn I hope today is a little better for you. I also live alone and when I’m ill or down it’s sometimes hard to lift myself back up. Are you living on sandwiches because that is all you can make for yourself or perhaps your mum drops them in for you. Have you tried microwave meals they’re not very appetising but they’re hot and sometimes that’s all we need to feel as though we are eating something substantial. Treat yourself and order a takeaway from wherever you like best and do an online food shop it might spark your appetite. Not much help I know but along with the others I’m thinking about you and hope your back on top soon. Jan x

I find that easy food is all I can manage when I’m in relapse. Even though it can take me ages to get to the kitchen. It helps to find ways to make things easier for yourself. I hope you do start to feel better soon. That day will come, even though it doesn’t feel like it at the moment. Can you get help at home from social services? Phone the MS helpline too, they are great at listening and may be able to point you in the right direction for some help xx