Feeling Fed up Today (not really MS)

Morning All,

I’ve been living under threat of redundancy for about six weeks now.

At the end of March I was abruptly told to stop all my work and hand it over to colleagues, as we literally weren’t budgeted for three people.

Since then, I’ve had the task of finding a new role within the company.

Unlike most companies, they don’t automatically redeploy people - the onus is on the individual to find their next assignment!

I have been totally unable to do this. Since March, there has been precisely ONE vacancy I was even remotely qualified for - which of course, I applied for. I got no response at all for the next six weeks, so naturally assumed I’d been unsuccessful.

Last week, the vacancy was advertised AGAIN, and I was informed my application had been put forward (no explanation of where it had lingered the rest of the time…)

So, having already written off the job, I once again began frantically revising (some of the scope was things I studied 10+ years ago), in anticipation of an interview.

I wasn’t guaranteed to get an interview, of course, but had to get up-to-speed in case, so I’ve spent the last week as if cramming for an exam - the only difference being I didn’t know when (or if) it was!

Having put all that effort in, I got a note today thanking me for my application, which, whilst noting “some positives”, said a better qualified candidate had got the job. I don’t even know if I’m upset or relieved. I do know I’ve done a load of study for nothing (similar vacancy is not likely to arise again in the foreseeable future, so I won’t be able to use it towards another try).

The clock is ticking inexorably towards the day I am out. Nobody is going before 16th July, but I believe letters will go out mid-June, so we have exactly the 30 days’ consultation set out in corporate policy, before we are shown the door.

I still don’t know whether to keep hoping and trying, or to resign myself to my fate. Even the hope is exhausting: thinking you might have found an opportunity that would be the salvation, and do a load of preparation to boost your chances, and then find it went to someone else anyway.

On the positive side, I no longer have to do the revision I would have continued today, tomorrow or at the weekend. But everything I’ve already done is for the bin, and I’m back to square one, with no work, no new opportunities in sight, nothing…

My health is deteriorating - dunno if it’s strictly the MS. I’m having another outbreak of the unexplained “conjunctivitis” - which ISN’T conjunctivitis, because I’ve been repeatedly checked and investigated - but no-one thinks it has anything to do with the MS either. So I’m left with this irritating (literally) and depressing problem, which keeps flaring up, but which nobody (including eye hospital) seems able to explain).

Then, as if that wasn’t enough, I dropped a weight on my face whilst exercising last week (other side to the “conjunctivitis”). Amazingly - thanks, presumably, to the neoprene coating on the weight, and liberal applications of arnica - I’m not black and blue. Don’t think anything broke. But it still feels bruised on the bone, and that’s depressing, too.

In some ways, I just want to retire to bed and wait for the inevitable letter. I don’t feel as if any effort I make on the work front has any bearing on the final outcome, although I am still trying to appear as positive and willing as possible…

I don’t feel as if work even care. Those of us out of work (which is not just me) are treated like dirt. Yesterday, we were supposed to join a conference call to discuss “our situation”, and how we’re all getting on. The chairperson didn’t even show up for the call - no apology, explanation, nothing. We’re not even seen as meriting an apology if we get invited to things which don’t happen, now.

I’d love to think this might all turn out to be a blessing in disguise, and that I’d leave with a nice golden handshake, and end up working for someone better!

But I can’t persuade myself that a chronically-ill 46-year-old woman, who’s never really worked anywhere else, is just going to walk into another job… Especially the way things are now.

Oh, and I’m not ill enough to claim DLA, or ESA, or any of it. Just ill enough to think I can’t begin again from scratch, at 46.


Oh Tina,hope things work out for you ok,you must be so annoyed with the way your work has been treating you. It is so annoying when you are trying to do all you can keep your job. If you do leave it then try and stay positive-you are obviously a dedicated,intelligent woman who any company should be proud to employ. I will keep my fingers crossed for you.


Hi Tina & (((hugs)))

You’re clearly having a c**p time of it right now - having been made redundant twice myself in the past I can understand how you must be feeling having the possibility of it looming over you.

Have you contacted ACAS for some advice on where you stand - should the worse case scenario happen?

Not all companies are the same and you’re not washed up at 46 either. You have lots to offer - have you considered looking elsewhere, utilising the skills and experience that you clearly have.

I wouldn’t mind betting that the stress of it all is having an impact on your health which isn’t helping matters but as Cathy said try to stay upbeat.

Debbie xx

So sorry your going through all this Tina, the stress must be awful. Good luck with the applications, Chis

Hi Tina, that is a really appalling way they have been treating you, and indeed the others in the same situation. I’m not surprised you’re not happy about that, I wouldn’t be either. I’m sorry you didn’t get the job however on a positive note, well done for studying towards it any way, it takes motivation to do something like that and it sounds like you were motivated in that direction, I’m not sure I would have been tbh. Can’t advise on the conjunctivitis, I’m afraid, as for dropping that weight, that sounds painful but, if nothing is broken, hang on in there and it should clear up itself. Again well done for using the weights, sounds like you have motivation there too. Just hang on in there Tina but I know exactly what you mean about not ill enough to claim dla or ESA, I claim dla due to my very poor walking but ESA, well I don’t think I would qualify. Cheryl:-)

Hello Tina,

I am sorry to read of this terrible situation you are in. I don’t know if this is comparable, but my friend has stys in her eye whenever she is stressed, and perhaps this is happening to you? One plus point (if it is indeed a plus) is that so very many people are suffering with their jobs at the moment, it isn’t just reserved for people with with MS. Why not go out to see a film or a play, or do something totally different from your usual planned life. However life treats you, we are thinking about you. Keep your pecker up.

Best Wishes,


Thanks everyone, I’m sorry not to reply individually.

It’s just taking it’s toll on me now, with so many weeks of uncertainty, and so many false promises. Although I’ve only officially applied for one job, there have been many leads and tip-offs, and many false alarms, that looked as if there was an opportunity, but in the end, there wasn’t. I’m sick of getting my hopes up, and thinking this really is the last chance, but then it all comes to nothing. :frowning:

I did find it hard to motivate myself to study for an interview that might not (and didn’t) ever come. It’s a measure of how desperate I am, that I forced myself to knuckle down to it. I thought it would be stupid to end up out of a job, because I couldn’t bring myself to prepare for an interview. But in the event, I didn’t even get that far…

The trouble is, I don’t even know if I want or am able to look for another job post July (when I expect to be made redundant).

I’ve spent so long in the same job (over 23 years) that I know little else. Although my company has trained me in certain things, it tends to be proprietary to them, and not something that would be recognized outside. My formal qualifications that would be recognized by employers in general are over ten years old, and haven’t been used at all in the meantime, so I’d have great difficulty even discussing them. I recently threw most of the books away!

I haven’t even any idea of what type of thing I should be looking for, or whether I should be considering full- or part-time (Could I even do full-time any more, if I wasn’t working from home?) and so on.

I do know it’s NOT just an MS thing. When all of this first blew up, I suspected it was a performance issue (even if the company wasn’t being honest about it) as nobody else was affected.

But since then, it looks as if my case was just the tip of the iceberg, as the company has made clear they are committed to axing 8% of the workforce by July - or 1 in 12 people. That means we will all either be affected, or know someone.

So I know I’m not on my own. I just think I’ll find it even harder than most to step into another job, because I don’t have age or health on my side.

I don’t think I have any redress if it happens, because I’m sure the company will obey the law, and I’ll get my compensation, and that will be it. If they’re losing 640, mine won’t be a special case.

I’m just wondering how many more horrible things can happen.

I lost my dad in very distressing circumstances less than four years ago (was already beginning to feel ill by then, but didn’t know with what), was diagnosed less than two years ago, and now look like losing my job - after 24 years!

Every time I think there’s light at the end of the tunnel, it’s a bl**dy oncoming train!



OMG, I dont know much about your employment rights but I just want to send you loads of ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) because youve got so much worry on your plate, and sound like you could do with lots of help, care & love. Im sure others can guide you better than I, but please know we are all here to hold your hand in friendship.

Take care

Luv bren


My advice is that if you are in a financial position where you will have no real worries about anything then take redundancy and enjoy the rest of your life.

I would be surprised if you would not get ESA unless you have a very mild form of MS. Same goes for DLA.

You would be entitled to some sort of benefit as you have paid the required National Insurance.

Always remember. No one starves in the UK… yet.

You poor thing, all the stress you are under must be all absorbing, as far as work goes I can’t give you any advice but I hope that you really don’t feel that you at your tender age is to old to get another. Experience of life it’s self goes a long way. Don’t give up hope and I send you (((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))) with lots of luck.



Wishing you all the very best of outcomes Tina. xx Maria.

Oh Tina, what a palaver…as you say, all that swotting up for nowt!

From the way you describe the firm and your ill treatemnt by them, would you really want to stay and work for a company which has such a poor view of their employees? But having said that…it is a job with pay to keep the wolf from the door, eh?

I know next to zilch about ITand working from home, but I would`ve thought there was ample work around to do that…but,as i said, what do I know?

I know you have been a dedicated, hard worker and it is so cruel that you should be tossed away as you feel will probably happen.

None of this will help the state of your health, let alone your finances.

i don`t know what else to say, except that i am sorry for you.

luv Pollx

Hi Poll,

Good to see you back from hols!

The fact is, I know nothing about IT. I can’t programme (unless you count in BASIC, on a ZX81), I can’t build a website…

I’m not a developer of any kind - nothing that is in demand to be done at home (or anywhere).

Basically, I check people’s projects. Not their actual lines of code - things like whether their budget’s been approved, whether all the work is properly assigned to anyone, whether they’ve identified their tools, equipment, and training needs, and that sort of thing.

So actually, you needn’t know a thing - or very little - about what they’re doing technically.

Maybe enough to be able to say: “That doesn’t look very much time, to do that particular task…”, or “Why have you budgeted nearly ten times as much as a similar project?”

But could I design or build somebody’s IT from home? No!

I’m seeing in some parts of the trade press today, that the Union has claimed a “victory” in persuading the Company to grant us all a stay of execution until the end of September (would have been mid-July).

BUT, there has been no comment this end, from either the Union or the Company. I’d have thought the Union would’ve been crowing by now, if they really had won such a concession. As they’re not, I’m taking it with a pinch of salt for now, and assuming the timescale is still July.

September’s not a lot better than July anyway, but I suppose every month I can still hang on is another few hundred in my pathetically inadequate pension pot, and a few more savings in the bank, to help cushion the blow.

Incidentally, the pension pot is currently worth less than I’ve paid into it, so I might as well have stood outside and tipped money down the drain.

No, I don’t really like or enjoy working for the company - and it’s turning even nastier now we’ve just reported record losses. There are horror stories of people being called in and given a dressing-down for doing things the way they’d always been taught to do them, because a new, ruthless manager didn’t agree that was the way to do them.

But, as you say, it’s a job. No idea what else I’d do, at 46, and with MS 'n all, and not really any experience of any other kind of work.

I’m not even good at knitting, or crafts. I couldn’t knit things from home, or make fairy cakes, or anything like that.