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Familes

Hi all

This hopefully be my first time using this forum I’ve had Ms for around 12 years diagnosed. At first my family was very loving and caring this was my parents and sister my husband and children are there for me everyday good and bad we have laughed cried and laughed again .My parents and sister are very different when I had to retire and be at home full time my parents decided to know Ms better than I did they would like me to go to bed and relax with every incident ie falling down or not been able to string words together I refused to give in or take there advice so we then started to drift apart from contact every day to nothing. My daughter contacted my parents and they told her it was my. fault I hadpushed myself away. Also with not having any treatment for Ms I had brought on my decline in my health myself. I feel so angry to be told this. Have anybody had this happen before with family

Thanks. Xxx

Hello.

After retiring through MS, I had big trouble with the in-laws who assumed I’d gone into some sort of vegetative state. I was ignored for anything that required thinking. I was never asked anything and was mostly referred to in the 3rd person right under my nose. Anything I suggested was blanked. I’m no longer married, yet I have been accused of expecting everything to happen around me and not caring about other people’s opinions. My own family have been very good but they are over 250 miles away. My friends both local and from my childhood are brilliant.

Best wishes

Hi Clamity I don’t think people understand just how difficult everything is at times. MS is one of those invisible illnesses where we often look better than we feel. I wonder at times whether they feel I’m being pathetic or looking for sympathy, and at other times when we look exhausted they try to interfere and treat me like a child who needs to be told to sit and rest or go to bed for a few hours. Sometimes that happens on days when I have things to do and insist on getting them done. In that instance I’m stubborn and won’t accept their help.

It’s a really difficult balancing act and can cause friction amongst those closest to us. I don’t know what the answer is except to try and get them to understand how you feel. Just remember that they love you and don’t understand that there are few times when you feel like you can tackle anything and everything, and when you do, you want to do as much as you can because chances are, you’ll feel unable to do much for the rest of the week.

All I can suggest is that you sit down with them and get your point through, but bite your tongue and let them have their say. You may find that they’re distancing themselves because they find it hard to cope with seeing you struggling. If they don’t care about you at least you’ll know, and see whether the relationship needs work or distance.

Take care

Cath x

Thanks for the reply,

Best wishes