Forum

Faking it

Has anyone ever been accused of not having m.s. even though they’ve been dx’d with it - probably in the early stages.

Not since dx, but my mum said to me shortly before diagnosis that she was worried that if I got a diagnosis I would use it as an excuse to not do things I didn’t fancy doing because I’m ‘lazy’!

So I was basically accused of faking it even though I had it if you see what I mean!

I haven’t been accused of faking it. However after my CIS, I told a friend that if I had any further symptoms it would be diagnosed as MS and she said ‘Oh, it won’t be that’. Just 3 months later I had a massive relapse where I was numb from the waist down, my hands were numb and I could barely walk. Spent 4 days in hospital having IV steroids.

Tracey x

I have. By my ex father in law (which is why he is ex father in law).

He said “I didn’t look as if I had MS and if he were me would get a second opinion” Grrrrrrr!!

Shazzie xx

Unfortunately yes :frowning: after I was dx my best friend of many years told me I was faking because I didn’t want to go out with her or be her friend any more. It all sounds so childish like we are 15 but she is 27 years old. This was after I physically couldnt leave the house for 2 weeks from muscle weakness. She didn’t believe me about it though and was convinced I was just ignoring her.

Sad part is that when she had cancer a couple of years ago, I was with her constantly supporting her, looking after her baby, staying in hospital with her and doing everything possible. Guess the helping hand only went one way in our friendship :frowning:

yes I was before I was dx It was said that I was fat and lazy even though I had worked up till my dx, but after dx i was told it was only a joke !!! :frowning:

Not in the way that you mean.

I have been told - before diagnosis, but AFTER the discovery of brain and spinal cord lesions: “You mustn’t worry, I’m sure it’s nothing!” I’m sure the person was trying to rally me, but CNS lesions are “nothing”? That’s certainly a new slant on it!

And I reckon I spent a minimum of 4-6 years “in limbo”, although I didn’t know that I was, because I’d never suspected MS - and neither did anyone else! I had been told my problems were due to “depression”, “wear and tear”, “having one leg longer than the other”, or even wearing “silly shoes” (which I never had, except for the odd New Year’s Eve party). So I suppose, although none of that was an accusation as such, nobody thought anything serious was the matter. My mistake was believing them! We now think - my neuro and I - that I might have had MS for up to 24 years! That is a long time to live with something, being told it’s nothing serious…

It’s funny, when I read your title, I instictively thought about a different kind of “faking it”. Not that I do have MS, but that I don’t. I do feel as if I’m faking nothing being the matter. I look normal - in most respects, I act normal. Yet inside, I feel far from normal - I’m always conscious of being ill. So I feel as if I can pass for somebody who didn’t have MS - in other words*,* that I’m faking it.

I don’t do this as a conscious exercise - I live on my own, and haven’t worked in a while, so there’s nobody I need to put on a brave face for. But I was just thinking, whilst I was out and about today, that strangers think I’m fine. For reasons that were never explained, we were all left standing locked out of a train for ten minutes, in the heat, waiting to be allowed on board. Although it was only ten minutes, to me it felt like ten hours, and the thought had crossed my mind that if it wasn’t sorted out soon, I might literally buckle at the knees or something. But that didn’t happen, so nobody was aware I was having an experience not far short of torture. I looked fine, therefore I was fine. I was faking!

Tina

an interesting response Anitra.

I guess we’ve all told somebody we’re feeling ‘fine’ when in reality we feel lousy. I’m not sure if that counts as ‘faking it.’

No, that’s not faking it. Not at all.

Oh sorry, had to read it from the title, thought someone was talking about my wife. Lol

I’m a nurse in a busy ED department, well was till I ended up having 6 months off, now I work non clinically! But I go off track! One particular Sister who just happened to be on duty the day I finally crahedand burned always gave the impression that she thought I was swinging the lead! This was before my neuro admission and subsequent duel diagnosis of IIH and CIS at the time but now MS. Funny but now when she wants me to try and fill the shortfall on her shifts she’s all sweetness and light!

Loving mum, eh?

pollx

Whist I was stil working, my manager made it clear she wasnt in my corner, when my symptoms of MS and strong suggestion from my neuro that I could have MS, really shocked and hurt me. She said both sh andr best friend had the same problems as me…I didn`t think so!

pollyxxx

if we’re feeling fine and we say we’re feeing unwell we’re ‘faking it’

if we’re feeling unwell and we say we’re feeling fine surely we’re ‘faking it?’

I have been accused several times of faking it. The last time was when we had a serviceman at the front door who asked me why I don’t work. I said that I have MS and was a bit taken aback when he said: " No you haven’t, I have seen people with MS." He then went on to say that “that is why this country is in such a mess, with the tax payers having to foot the bill of the idle.” Nice guy!

Moira

I would have put in a complaint to the company about that, Moira - although I’m not quite sure what you mean by a “serviceman” - do you mean a delivery man, or he came to fix something at your house? If he was a sole trader, there might be no-one to complain to, but if it was a company, I would. First of all, it’s out of order to be asking about your personal circumstances. How would he even know you don’t work anyway, and haven’t just got the day off? But some people can ask quite personal questions, but still be nice about it, so I wouldn’t automatically complain, if clearly no offence was intended. But to ask prying questions AND THEN insult you when you answer! I’d definitely have been on the e-mail straight away to his boss, complaining about the inappropriateness. Also, just because somebody isn’t working doesn’t mean he knows about their finances. I’m not getting a penny off the state - I’m living off my own hard-earned savings and investments. I’d be outraged to be told anyone else was “footing the bill”. The only person this has cost money is me! Some stranger at the door can’t know anything about your health or financial arrangements - neither is it any of their business, unless you instantly warm to them, and choose to make it so. Tina x Tina x

Someone i knew and thought of as a friend said to me one day “Are you still pretending to be ill”

Well you can imagine my responce and the fact that the person is no longer in my life,i cant begine to tell you how much that hurt in someone you trust saying something like that.

But hayho thats the way the cookie crumbles we win some and we definately loose some.

Barbara.xx

well, i told a colleague at work when i was recenlty diagnosed and confused… he laughed… oh how he laughed… “you don’t have ms, you look fine!”. i laughed… oh, how we laughed!!

at first i was frustrated becaue he kept laughting at me - but then i started laughting and it made me feel good.

:slight_smile:

[quote=“zetland”]

if we’re feeling fine and we say we’re feeing unwell we’re ‘faking it’

if we’re feeling unwell and we say we’re feeling fine surely we’re ‘faking it?’

[/quote] No. Pretending to be unwell is one thing, but saying you’re fine when you feel unwell could be because you don’t want to explain for whatever reason, or because you don’t want to go into detail to the person…it is polite when meeting someone to ask how they are, but it doesn’t mean you want a full blown explanation of their ailments, particularly something like MS. I usually say I feel fine when I don’t but I don’t think that means I’m faking being well. Do you?

Not knowingly, but doubt I would be terribly bothered if someone did. Why on earth should I waste time worrying about the opinion of an idiot?