Difficult issue.

Recall reading a book about m.s. when first dx’d and the last chapter started off with the sentence ‘I hesitate to describe the final stages of m.s…’ – it didn’t make pleasant reading!

I feel there is a ‘level’ of m. s. disability that would make life intolerable for me and I would prefer not to go on living in that state if and when it occurs.

Is it very wrong for someone to consider ending it all?

Which book did you read ? You are not in that state now or are you ?

It’s a controversial question. I don’t think it’s wrong personally. But I agree with assisted dying, not so much suicide. It depends on the situation but I can understand why someone would not want to go on living if they literally can’t move or speak but just have to lie there. If it was a loved one I would try my best to be there for them but if they continuously expressed that wish then I would help them ( legally ). As for myself, I don’t know how I would be and if I would ever have the guts to do it. But I don’t think it’s wrong, but I think it’s only fair to express the wish to loves ones and do it ’ properly ’ - assisted dying, rather than suicide.

I hope you’re not feeling like this though. Please let us know.


It does not matter what anyone else thinks, however as you asked the question I will share my opinion which works for me but I would never suggest that it would suit anyone else. I feel that there is a threshold of my condition beyond which I do not want to continue. I did look into the Dignitas stuff but it is beyond my budget and too many other people would need to be involved. On the flip side I have passed through numerous thresholds and red lines only to find other ways of adapting, so my poxy goalposts keep shifting.

Having taken numerous pets to the vet to prevent unnecessary suffering, I really wish we had that option although I do understand that it leads to all sorts of complex and convoluted questions.

All the best



I don’t think its wrong to think as you do, because I think and feel the same - there is a limit I don’t want to go beyond, but I realise not everyone thinks like this. If the care system was different, I might feel differently, but my experience is one of lack of care from an uncaring system, I personally feel abandoned by the health profession. This is difficult for me to say as I worked in it all my working life, but its been so different being on the other side. Its all been dreadful and so very difficult…

No not wrong at all. In my life I’ve made it very clear that I don’t want to live if there is no quality to life. My friends, my husband, my family all know this. I have an Advance Decision which states that I don’t want to live an intolerable life.

I also reserve the ‘Switzerland’ option for the time it all gets too much. I only hope I don’t leave it too late.
(I feel enormously sorry for the people who are terminally ill and unhappy who can’t go to Dignitas or similar because of Covid.)

This is obviously just my opinion. It’s right for me, but I totally understand that it’s not right for everyone.

And I’m with you Mick on the subject of not wanting to be treated worse than we would a beloved family pet. Pets don’t even have the option of choice; we do yet it’s not permitted. Crazy.


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Cracowian, I totally agree. I’ve made my intentions clear to my husband. His sister had signed up to Dignitas years before her cancer diagnosis. As it turned out, her diagnosis and following surgery left her too ill and unfit to travel. She was under some heavy sedation and passed away a few days after the surgery, in hospital, too weak to be home.

I’m adamant that I will make my choice when I don’t want to be here anymore. As a strong, feisty, funny woman full of spirit and adventure, I couldn’t bear to have kind people cleaning me up after a toilet session, feeding me and putting me to bed and everything else that goes with it.

I hope I still have the physical ability to end things when I am ready, and not have anyone to be accountable. The sooner the option becomes legal here the better.

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Emily R - no I’m not ‘in that state’ -

it is a complex issue - as MIck says we probably shift the goalposts but I personally don’t see the point of struggling on if things become intolerable.

I already have all my personal care taken care of by kind carers…but it doesnt make me feel bad…not at all…yes, of course Id rather do it myself but I cant and I never will.. Its been like that for a lot of years now.

I havent given any wishes about how my life should end if I cant speak. Not dealing with that yet.