A little under a year ago, part of my face went numb, so off I went for an MRI. The neurologist said it was a lipoma pressing against a nerve next to brain stem that was causing the numbness and that incidentally they had found evidence of past inflammation in different parts of my brain. Then I was scheduled in for another MRI, this time with contrast, six months later. That MRI was in April and results were at the beginning of May, which brings me here today…
In the results appointment she showed me my scans, the lipoma was the same and benign, but remember that inflammation? Then she showed me a different slide and pointed out two new areas, and one all lit up and bright with the contrast. She talked through a few symptoms, that I can’t read books as I used to and keep forgetting things short term and getting dizzy spells, then she said “Do you know what MS is?” and honestly from there it’s a blank. When it comes to fight or flight I freeze. She discharged me from her clinic and said she referred me to the MS Clinic.
That was a month ago and I’m now just in a kind of daze because I don’t know what’s happening and I haven’t heard anything since. I completely froze in the appointment, just smiled and nodded until it was over then cried in an art gallery until I stopped shaking.
I feel lost and scared and I don’t know what’s happening and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know anything about MS and I’m scared to look it up because Dr Google is no one’s friend, but I don’t know what happens now. Do I have MS? Am I being referred for more tests? Will there be more needles? I have a horrendous phobia of needles and 3/4 of my contrast mri was spent helping me recover from the panic attack and fainting.