Hi!
I’m writing here because I didn’t know where online to write. I’m a 24-year-old female, student, whose brother got an ‘almost’ diagnosis yesterday. He has all the classical signs (lhermittes, numbness, vision…) and he’s waiting to have his MRI in 2 months. (I’m not from the UK). He probably does have it, huh? 
Now, I have had the worst year last year and I hoped to God this year would be better. I have suspected depression/bipolar in me for a long time now, and two months ago I finally got into semi-regular therapy (depending on my budget), decided for meditation, etc…
And now this. BAM.
I know most of you here suffer from MS, but I want to show you just why I feel like my world is crashing over my head.
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My dad died when he was 38 – from an extremely aggressive cancer. My family hasn’t been the same ever since. It’s been just me, my mom, and my brother. All left scarred from the experience… My brother has spent most of his time playing video games, mom has been unemployed for the past 5 years because she can’t handle work, and I’ve been getting through university slowly but steadily, all the while trying to ameliorate my mental health. We are dirt poor, can’t even afford good heating in the winter. This really seems like someone’s having a bad joke on us
Does anyone else have such an awful situation but that it then got better? -
I wanted to take out a loan to study for an MA abroad. I’m in the process of applying… Right now it just feels so selfish. Relations between me and my brother are not at all good, but I think this diagnosis is changing things. I feel like I should be home to be a support for my mom who’s completely shattered. But then I won’t get to live my life?
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And here we come to the point #3: I was already a slight hypochondriac, but this has worsened it. I’ve been having random muscle twitching all over my body for close to a year now, tremor, tickly soles of feet for a couple of years (that I thought were athlete’s food but my derm doesnt think so), and obviously mental health issues. I’m also not in the sun enough (since I had bouts and depression and all…) and I had mono when I was a teenager.
I just feel like I’m either in the beginning stages of MS (I’m planning on seeing a neurologist too) or that I’m getting it for sure. I know that’s the wrong way to think about it, but I just do. Does anyone have any words of encouragment? I also don’t feel like having kids with these shitty genes. I’ve always wanted children so another thing that’s killing me… -
Brother is single and 27 and just in the process of graduating and looking for a job so he has it all going for him… except this. If he had a girlfriend at least she could support him. So everything falls on my mom. I think my mom’s in denial, she doesn’t talk about it and she keeps sighing. She cried when she learnt about it and now she acts like it’s nothing…What can I do?
Please, does anyone have something nice to say, because I’m going crazy. I feel so alone (frieds are trying to help me but they can’t do much), I feel like my world is ending. Am I overreacting?