What a magnificent tail!
thanks mick.
what a lovely stash of cats you have.
the ginger, the tabby and the one with a ginger patch on its face are just like pepper, tiger and dusty (late departed cats of ours).
it’s just plain wrong for a catwoman not to have a cat.
in the darkest recesses of the Mogace archives I found a cat for Tracey (even Fez would have to be careful)
Mick
And that beast is a cat worthy of Our Lady of Darkness!!
Ferocious.
A scary cat is a proper cat, not just a bundle of fluff.
(Mine is of course more bundle of fluff than scary!)
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Sue when I took this shot I was told that this cat was as mean as it looked.
I prefer fluffy. I can cope with aloof and even some contempt but it is nice to have some cute / cuddle time.
M
bet i could tame it!
I’m confident that you could tame a rabid, sabre-toothed tiger.
By a sheer coincidence I happen to have one. Would you like him on 7 days approval ? Very cheap.
sounds more like a sabre toothed budgie
M
brilliant
M
Not brilliant. How did you get hold of my cat to feed your sabre toothed parakeet?
And why? What did he ever do to deserve such an end? Ok, he’s a bit of a ‘me, me, me’ type. As in, ‘everything belongs to me’. But that’s no excuse. He’s a cat, what do you expect?
§
A letter has flooded in from a Worried of Woburn. Worried has makes some interesting observations and I feel duty bound to help this poor man and others like him. Dear Mr Woburn, I don’t normally make a diagnosis basis on the evidence of a single, badly typed letter but your symptoms, which you think are typical of MS, are in fact gout. Except the electric shock in your “gentleman’s parts” when you point at the ceiling (with your finger) which is probably a dodgy light fitting earthing itself. What you are doing with your other hand is anybody’s guess! As for feeling frightened by your girlfriend’s family I suspect that they are trying to tell you something. Please pay more attention. This in no way entitles you to a Blue Badge, PIP, membership of the BNP or free entry to any National Trust property, as you assume. You should stop forking out for private quack treatments, but keep up with the paleo diet which will help with your constipation, and reduce plastic waste. Copious amounts of cannabis are not recommended for athletes foot, fungal nail disease or dandruff, although you may well feel considerably happier about having all three. Naturally you will be concerned that you might have contracted MS from your girlfriend or her father (I don’t want to know about how your relationship works) but one is more than likely to get it off a public lavatory seat on the train from London. By all means avoid seeing your GP. They are busy people and very overstretched since the invention of the Internet and Google. You have no idea the number of conditions I have diagnosed myself as having just beginning with the letter P. I come from a long line of parents and as such I recommend that next time you have nothing more important than your health to worry about, you ask your mother, if she’s still speaking to you, and stop bothering important people like me. Alternatively, I’d be only too happy to prescribe some Old Gypsy remedies I have created especially in order to fleece the worried well, like yourself, of their hard earned unemployment benefit. Please send a stamped addressed envelope and a postal order for 1000 Turkish lire to the address above. Yours, Washing up liquid Tea bags Plain yoghurt Spaghetti Small sliced brown Tinned potatoes Wrapping paper
thanks for your madness. i needed a laugh. anthony - i’m convinced that i could tame that sabre toothed tiger, as i am a qualified cat whisperer. coincidentally i am also from a long line of parents! gin o’clock cheers
Tally Ho!
I, on the other hand was conceived on a whim… or was it on the spur of the moment , we will never know as my mum is no longer with us and my dad can not remember.
Hmmmm I think I need a cheese fix
Mick
Dear Mr Durer
Thanks verry much for your cozideraation of my problems. They have been many and varrius. I will definately be checking the electricks of the house in case of light earth trouble.
My girlfreinds family do scare me when they all get round me and fretten me with vilence. I think if I have to have PPMS they would hurt me bad.
I will tack your advise and ask my mum about it. And I wont bovver with the herbal type of treatment. Even if I do like a spliff at the weekends. Along with my beer and a kabab. But I’ll find out about this diet thing. Can I still eat KFC and McDs?
How do I get a post order? And wats a lier?
And I will keep away from the doctors specialy as they dont lick me there after last time.
Worried (Woburn)
Do you all talk like this in Woburn? Incidentally, Light; Earth; Trouble is the name of a prog rock band from Norfolk but I wouldn’t expect you’re old enough to have heard of them. Regards, Second class stamps Plaster of Paris Pencil sharpener Box A4 80gsm blue paper
What on Earth is going on here? Are you suddenly an agony aunt Mr D? I’m sure you’d be very good at it. But honestly, I know you’ve not posted Worrieds original private message, but do you think you’re making light of his concerns? Or are they as flimsy as you seem to be treating them?
I’m slightly bothered that people might genuinely see you as the answer to their problems.
Is the man mad? Oh, yes I see, don’t bother answering that stupid question.
§ue
I have been an Agony Aunt for many years now. Unfortunately the surgery didn’t go according entirely to plan and my gender is what is known as “unusual” and I am in agony “down there”. Mrs D is not best pleased either and has had to take up golf, tennis, ballroom dancing and gliding lessons in order to find enough club pro instructors to take her mind off things.
It’s costing me a fortune. Why these bleeders charge for it is a mystery as I never invoiced for a penny during my time in the Merchant Navy.
Oh. Well they do say, ‘all the nice girls like a sailor’. Is that the kind of thing you’re on about? Is Mrs D having to ‘amuse’ herself with club Pros in order to stay happy? Maybe you should find some of your old friends from the Merchant Navy might come in a bit cheaper?
I think you’re clearly doing a sterling job as an agony aunt. Maybe one or two of your suggestions are little, um left field. And some might consider that you are a tad ‘grasping’ in offering old gypsy remedies, but then you’re not charging what might be considered as the full market rate in terms of ‘fleecing the needy and inept’. So all in all, you’re doing OK as far as I can tell.
I do hope your downstairs area gets a bit better, it can’t be pleasant for you or Mrs D.
§ue
ah, downstairs problems?
i do hope you didn’t attempt a DIY sex change because from what i hear they are very painful and carry a considerable risk of infection.
buy a job lot of savlon and rub it on once a minute.
mr CWC grabbed mr for a kiss whilst i was emptying the washing machine and bumped my nose with his head.
we were both a tad drunk.
i shouted at him to mind what he was doing with his big fat head.
he was offended.
this morning as i was trying to get out of bed i put the pillow which i’d discarded back on the bed and it gently touched his head.
what a big tantrum ensued.
poor delicate little flower, i said.
so my stream of insults appears to be in good flow.