l think you will all agree - that this is the worst part of MS - bowel/bladder incontinence -and the most misunderstood by the GPs/Nurses - unless of course they also have MS.
Constipation will stop the bladder working effectively - so thats the first to get sorted out. Golden linseeds sprinkled onto your cereal /salad will help get you regular - but first of all a good dose of Movicol to start!! A muscle relaxant should help with the bladder as it sounds as if it is ‘spasming’ and stopping you from going. Self-catheterising does become easier the more you do it. Drink plenty of water - it helps the bowels and bladder.
l have no control over my bladder and ended up having a supra-pubic catheter fitted about 18yrs ago. lts been life changing for me - and very little bother. Also l have a peristeen system to help with bowels. This allows me to to go when l want to -and not when they decide to let you down!!
So there are ‘answers’ out there for your problems. lf you can get Campath - do give it a try. lts the only dmd l would try - but alas l am spms so not able to.
Finally, Don’t let anyone make you feel you are ‘bothering’ them - its their job to help you - and not being able to pass urine is dangerous and is to be taken seriously. Keep on to them - and don’t apologise! l haven’t got an MS nurse - but the district nurses here are brilliant.