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Bittersweet day

I’m feeling very low today, yesterday was 25 yrs since my dad died aged just 63. I was 25 at the time. I now have lived longer without him than with, I can’t seem to get this out of my head. I have a lovely family, my partner and 3 children ( 2 boys and a girl) and I know I should be happy but at this moment in time all I want to do is cry.

It doesn’t help that my mum died 10 yrs ago and my favourite big sis died only last year in March, she was only 58, so I can’t speak to her about it.

I just needed to get it out of me, I’m sorry

Aww Lisa , I’m so sorry . Don’t know what else to say. Sending hugs xxx Michelle and Frazer xx

Lisa, so, so sorry to read about everything. Sadly there is nothing anyone can say or do to ease your pain, just wrap yourself in the loving hugs that are being sent to you and cherish the wonderful memories that you have.

Even more hugs,

Tippy xxl

Thank you everyone for your kind words it means so much,.

Lisa

Nothing wrong with feeling low some days Lisa. It’s allowed and it’s good to recognise it…

My dad died 30 years ago (aged 72) and I still miss him. I can get a whiff of cut grass, and I’m transported back to a child coming home from school one Monday afternoon in summer. He was cutting the grass with an old fashioned push mower. He gave me the collection box over the low garden wall to toss the cuttings over the country lane where we lived. As I did so, trhee cows came running down the lane towards me, and I screamed and threw the box and ran.

My sister died 25 years ago in April, aged 40. The daffodils were in full bloom when she was first diagnosed. . Oh the irony of having them as the Cancer charity logo… I miss her too.

It’s coming up to your sister’s first anniversary. Of course you miss talking to her. Your bereavement is still new and you must be feeling very sad. It’s easy to gather all of your sad feelings and grief into a heap and feel it’s overwhelming. You don’t say how old your children are but I’m sure there old enough to understand you feel sad. Tell them this. Explain that you are feeling low at the moment, missing your sister and feeling fragile. Us mums are human after all, and it’s good for them to see this.

For me, when I feel like this, I try to go somewhere quiet where I can be close to Nature. The beach, and listen to the waves and the rhythmic motion, a riverbank and watch the movement, woodland and listen to the wind in the trees. Write to them and “talk” to them. It just might help. I hope tomorrow is a brighter day for you. x

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I just have to say that was lovely advise Poppy, it really helps being near nature some how you find inner peace there. My husband’s youngest brother died a few years ago unfortunately he had mental health problems and very sadly took his own life. It was October time and the weather was so strange… Julian had Bipolar disorder and I thought at the time the weather was wild but so beautiful, almost like his personality one minute blowing a gale and rain lashing down to be followed by a beautiful rainbow ironically wind and storms were his favourite weather. I hope things get better. It’s funny how posts sent to help other members help me too. Michelle and Frazer xx

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I’m so sorry Lisa, Poppy’s advice was so good that I can’t really add any more but I did just want to send you a virtual hug,

Take care of yourself,

Nina x

Poppy that was so moving, thank you.

My children are son (26),Daughter(22 last week ) and my youngest son who is 13. My daughter is my rock, she takes me out when she can but working full time it’s difficult. I would love to do more with my eldest but as I need help to go toilet I don’t, it’s embarrassing that Laura has to .

I don’t go out very often, in fact the last time was 8th Feb to go and see the MS nurse .so going somewhere to reflect is difficult

My sister died March 6th , she went in hospital Feb 13 with Hypomagnesemia , was in intensive care until Feb 21st when she was moved to a side room. This was the last time I saw her, she was not eating ,(she coudnt understand why she had to eat) although talking she was coming out with ever so weird stuff like there had been an orgy on the ICU and she had seen a murder, in fact the Dr had asked my niece about her mental health normally which she had told him she was normally of sound mind .

She was moved onto the ward monday night/ Tuesday morning 27/28. Still not eating. Had all the drips and stuff out. Got a text from my niece Tuesday dinnertime saying that they were sending her home, she hadn’t been out of bed or anything since she went in! Her blood sugar went high so kept her in for the night (she was diabetic ).

Got a text the next day that she was home, she wasn’t on all her meds so the gp started her on them the next day, this was Thursday 2nd. My niece lived 40 odd miles away so it was very difficult for her to care for my sister. She would go twice a day ,last being to put her bed for the night. She found her dead Monday morning. She should never have been sent home, we just can’t understand it!

Lisa