Bipolar type symptoms, can't cope anymore

Hi everyone, I am looking for advice on this. My partner is 25 with RRMS. He has been diagnosed for 5 years. About 4/5 months ago he was prescribed Tecfidera as Copaxone was no longer working. When we first met our relationship was amazing and I felt intense love for him. We were joined at the hip and so happy. I also have a chronic illness and he has been a good support to me too. After Tecfidera he started to change. He would withdraw, stone wall me, go cold and basically just shut me out. After this he would get upset and tell me he loves me but he can’t deal with his emotions and was experiencing highs and lows. That is very much what our relationship feels like these days. He can be this amazing, funny, intelligent, supportive guy then like a switch has been flicked he changes and becomes withdrawn, disinterested,shows no affection and acts like he cant be bothered with me. We dont live together so at times it is difficult when I dont hear from him.he will always get upset after these episodes and come to me apologising and saying he can’t control his emotions and that he doesn’t know how he feels etc.
It’s all very confusing for me. Outsiders will simply judge that he behaves like a sociopath, love bombing, etc then completely withdrawing.
When we are happy I will often say I can’t believe how you acted. He will say the same that he can’t believe how he behaved and that his mental state terrifies him at times. He will say thank you for not giving up on him etc. He is seeing a neuropsychologist who reckons he only needs three appointments???
At times it is difficult not to think this but at times I then think it’s his MS causing it. He has been prescribed antipsychotics before but they didnt work for him. He has also abused drugs in the past.
Whenever I say to him I don’t deserve this treatment, he will say he cant help how he is feeling at that time. I know he has trouble dealing with his diagnosis. However, when he is in a good mood he is so positive, happy and adores me. Then when he changes it’s like I don’t exist. It’s very sad. I wouldn’t be writing on here if I didn’t love him but I need some perspective from people who are in relationships with people with ms. When we are happy we are very happy but when we are sad it gets very intense then we end up breaking up.
As you can imagine some people close to me tell me to leave as this is causing me a lot of upset. I am a sensitive person too and can lash out when he takes his funny turns with me.

I am bi polar type 2 dx’ about 10 years ago and recently dx’x wit ppms which they think i could have had for 20 years plus undiagnosed, i personally think there is a link between bi polar ands ms, im convinced. My bi polar episodes have always mainly been depressive and very low mood, with occasional self harm and suicidal thoughts whichhave seen me admitted to hospital for quite some lengths of time, i would abuse alcahol , and i was a complete arse hole to my family I was non compliant with my meds and I don’t know how my wife didn’t divorce me I was out of control on a downward spiral heading for god knows what. It took until last year for me to become compliant with my meds and I have a personal agreement between myself and my phycologist to stick the meds out, and I’m doing really well my mood is stable despite this flipping ms which the medics thought would make me kick off again. I’m off the booze the biggest battle I have is the flaming weight gain from the meds. But the main thing my relationship with my wife is rock solid and my mood and bad temper towards her is a thing of the past. Don’t get me wrong we have our rows but they are minor and never carried on or as vile as they used to be. So yes it’s about getting the meds right and then sticking to them and letting them work. It took a very long time to find what was right for me, but I got there when my wife and the rest of the family doubted I ever would so good luck and stick at it if you love him

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Drummer boy, Thank you for that honest response. It sounds like you’ve been through a rough time as has your support network.:frowning: I have been saying for months I think he’s bipolar. What meds have you been put on? It doesn’t help that the GPs here just turn people away when they have a long term condition and tend to blame it on that. He’s at the point where he’s ignoring me again so there isn’t much I can do in the mean time.

Hi boo boom I have been on that many meds that they were running out of what to give me next. I know at one point I was on lithium , quitiapine, and a couple of others that ms won’t let me remember, they totally wasted me practically a chemical straight jacket and that was how I thought they wanted to keep me, so what did I do chucked em all in the bin and refused to take anything, within days I was self medicating on the booze and ripping into those closest to me, tearing my family apart, I would get picked up by the police and taken straight to hospital and at one point had to be sectioned for my own safety. Now I accept the bi polar and realise it is an illness that I have and that I need to take medication and I can’t drink, and life is so much better. In fact it helped me to deal with the ms by realising that life’s to short to dwell on something just accept it and get on with it. I’m sure if you can get him on the right meds the Jekyll and Hyde character will melt into the background. But he needs to accep it himself first


Quetiapine is magic.

Hi guys, my hubby has bipolar - the rapid cycling type - so quetiapine has been a life saver. Literally.

He stopped drinking and smoking - finally he has some control over his emotional mega high mood swings.

He only takes these meds when he is going into the high, so he doesn’t need to take them everyday. I would say

he takes 3 tablets in a 10 day mood cycle. So not many - but they stabilise him. Amazing!

Environment is also important - making life as stress free as possible. But I’m sure you know that already.

All the best.