Oh Poppy, you poor love. Almost making me cry for you.
You have managed so well given the bloody speed of your disability. It’s different when you’ve had MS for years. Yours has just arrived, moved in, rearranged the furniture and is ordering your life according to what it wants. MS has made you its bitch. (If you’ll forgive my mixing of metaphors!)
It happens to us all now and then, even now, the meltdown at the change. That feeling that ‘this was not supposed to happen’ and ‘this isn’t truly me, is it?’ We’ve all cried and needed some arms around us. Some people aren’t even lucky enough to have a Mr Poppy, or a Mr Sssue.
Of course you are still the person you always are. This is one of the best things about this forum. To me, you are funny, brave, strong, gorgeous Poppy. You’re not the stumbling, bumbling disabled body with which you now have to live. And that is true of all of us. You don’t necessarily see me as the badly disabled grumpy old bag I truly am. You just see what I portray in my posts (whatever that is, probably a disabled grumpy old bag!)
So when we plan an invasion, or a boat trip en route to the invasion, or a tea party, or whatever we choose, we know we can go there in our heads, we can make the forum people (who are the true personalities outwith the disabilities) real again.