Forum

Asking for help

Does anyone struggle with this. I will not ask for help from anyone but I had to for the first time on Monday and it was really hard. I was feeling really bad and the thought of trying to put one foot in front of the other just made me burst into tears!

Why do I find it so hard to ask especially when I will (and do) help any of my friends out.

Goodness knows Nikki!!!

I'm exactly the same - I'll help absolutely anybody and I get really annoyed when someone doesn't ask for help!

Yet I won't ask myself!!

I think that possibly you are having to adjust and adapt to your illness and accepting that you need help sometimes is all part of that process x you are just not used to it and so it's upsetting for you xxxxx

All I can say is - the people who you are asking are there for you - they care about you - they understand and they  want to help you  xxxxjenxxx

 

My hubby said to me last night  'no need to get aggressive with me I was only trying to help'

I think its a sense of losing control with me. I have always done everything for myself so if someone else does things its as though im losing capabilities if that makes sense.

As Jen says I guess as we are all newbies its the new learning curve.

All the best

Pip

Glad it's not just me!! When I rang my friend for help she said she was so glad I had and had been waiting for me to give in lol (She had offered loads and I kept telling her I was fine) Thing is I'm always helping her out with her kids but mainly because it makes my life easier as they get on so well with mine.

I have always been very independant as we have no family close by, that all fell apart when I was diagnosed with epilepsy but I still refused help.

Shame we dont live closer then we could all not ask for help together happy

Glad it's not just me!! When I rang my friend for help she said she was so glad I had and had been waiting for me to give in lol (She had offered loads and I kept telling her I was fine) Thing is I'm always helping her out with her kids but mainly because it makes my life easier as they get on so well with mine.

I have always been very independant as we have no family close by, that all fell apart when I was diagnosed with epilepsy but I still refused help.

Shame we dont live closer then we could all not ask for help together happy

Yep just checked where you are... my bladder wouldnt cope with that journey....Oh well cyber is good aswell.Pip

Lol that made me laugh. I know the feeling and since I lost my driving licence because of the epilepsy I would have to walk.

Cyber is better as I can be more honest because everyone has been there.

Its soooooooooooooo difficult to ask for help, I know exactly what you mean. Like you I am always helping others but never feel I can ask them for help. I always feel like I should manage as I have always been the carer never the cared for( I was a nurse for 20 years looking after the elderly mostly and I have cared for 2 grandparents in thier own homes until the end of thier lives.)I have 2 children who both have disabilities, I need to care for them as well and dont want to burden my partner with caring for us all. Some how we all have to accept and ask for help. That is probably the hardset challenge I face at the moment. Lets hope we all find the strength!!! DL

Waa haa! Funnily enough I experienced the opposite from my hubby last night!!

Yesterday I went down to my elderly mother’s (who has been ill) and basically overdid it in the kitchen trying to help out - I don’t know how I managed to get home and literally crawled theough the door and collapsed on the sofa. I asked hubby if there was a cuppa going - he was on his flippin game - he’s addicted to it!!

After 10 mins of gasping for one and no sign of it coming I half jokingly shouted ‘kettle is broken is it’!

If I did!! He shouted something about him being in work all day - I didn’t catch all of it - but it felt like a slap in the face/kick in the teeth If I had been anywhere near capable of making my own cuppa I flippin would have believe me!!

I screamed at him that he could stick his cuppa where the sun don’t shine and he shouted back -so I literally crawled upstairs - threw myself in the bed and cried my eyes out!!

That was 5.00pm yesterday evening - I woke at 7.30am this morning - 14 and a half hours later and still emotionally upset and physically exhausted !! I hadn’t had anything to eat since breakfast or anything to drink since lunch time yesterday xx

In all fairness he’s normally really good but now & again he’ll say something so flippin insensitive and we seem to be having these blow outs more regularly!!

Oh the joys eh!!!