I thought I’d lost music. I was ill and full of fatigue. Anyway, after a lot of changes, life, diet, country, I seem to have recovered it. I never dreamed that this could happen. I thought it was gone forever.
Last year I started to sing again (I have an operatic size voice) and it took months to regain the muscle strength after 9 years away from any sort of music. It came back and yet, I was stuck as I don’t know any musicians here where I live. It’s a lonely existence. Musicians need other musicians.
A very, very kind friend (from here) sent me a violin and although I hadn’t played for 31 years, I got stuck into it again. The most wonderful thing happens when I play. I forget that I have MS.
Then I started to play the piano again. I’m not very good, but that’s not the point. It’s for my brain.
The violin playing has changed - I’m playing Irish fiddle music now and when my technique gets better, I’ll go back to Baroque music. I like the Irish music very much though.
There are things that worry me - I can’t sing from memory. I can’t remember song lyrics very well, but I reckon that when I can play the Irish fiddle music by ear, that it may help with the memory problems (that’s the next step).
Today I went to see my GP as I have been having awful panic attacks. She’s prescribed a very low dose of Citalopram and she told me that she knew musicians. The Citalopram may help me to get courage to get out and meet people as well.
I’ve decided to say ‘Sod the MS’ and just get out more and start teaching singing again and even do concerts. Okay, I’m lucky that I have non-progressive RRMS, but for too long, I’ve backed away from music. Never say never.