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Anxiety and depression

Hello, I’ve been looking on the site for a few weeks now and reading various threads, but this is the first time I have actually written anything.

I have suspected MS and following my second full spine and brain MRI, I have to wait until September to see my neurologist and find out if I have it or not. I can’t help feeling that the lack of urgency and further testing is because it is MS. I am not, and haven’t been, very upset about it. I’m not overly worried and just taking it as it comes. It sucks and symptoms are making everyday life, and work, tricky, but I’m ok about it really - I just want to know.

My main issue, aside from my symptoms (tingly hands, legs and feet, numbness, buzzing etc) is quite severe anxiety and depression. I haven’t seen my doctor for a chat yet, and I find it hard to distinguish between the two, but I feel incredibly down and unmotivated, yet sick to the stomach with, almost constant, adrenaline and a churned up stomach. When I remember I have to do something or if I get a work email from someone that requires more then just a quick reply, I feel sick and the anxious feeing overwhelms me. I find that I just ignore these things and whenever they creep back into my mind, my stomach knots up.

I run my own business from home while looking after my three year old and seven month old, and there’s times when they’re crying or whinging, when I really do want to hurt myself, scream and run away. I get an overwhelming sense of needing to be alone in silence and I get incredibly angry at the drop of a hat. I completely dread my partner going to work and count down the minutes until he is home. I have always suffered with this to some extent, even as a child, but it is overwhelming at the moment.

Is this related to MS or is it a separate issue? I also feel like my brain is cloudy (?). I can’t make decisions because I feel I can’t concentrate, which makes me really frustrated and cross (sometimes it’s intense anger). I have a lot of things flying around my head but I find it really hard to pluck individual ones out - it’s like I can’t clarify anything in my mind and everything is muddled up. I read that problem solving can be a struggle with MS, which I definitely feel is a problem for me even though that had always been one of my strong points.

I’m sorry if this post doesn’t require make sense or seem relavant, I just needed to get it out. It would be good to know if anxiety/depression is a symptom of MS, not just a direct result of the difficulties/worries of living with the disease (if that makes sense?).

Hello Ruby

Please go and speak to your GP. You are going through a lot and sound overwhelmed. Get support for your anxiety first and foremost and then you will be better placed to tackle everything else.

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Thank you Humbug. Yes I have been meaning to call my GP, so I will do it this week. I may just show the doc this post, as I find it hard to say out loud. x

Hi Ruby, go to your GP & explain your feelings to him/her. Anxiety/depression is extremely common if you have MS, don’t suffer these symptoms when they could be easily treated.

Good luck

Rosina

That sounds like a good plan x. Let us know how you get on.

Hi Ruby

I feel for you . I have recently been diagnosed and I was suffering with stress also . Go see your GP . They put me on a tablet called Citalprom . Whilst still worrying, it has helped me no end .

Good Luck !!

Hi Ruby you’re going through it at the moment and having two kids to care for as well as everything else it is overwhelming is there anyone other than your partner who could help to give you a little help or breathing space. It is important that you go to see your GP and tell him exactly how you feel and sooner than later and be honest don’t hold anything back. The waiting is hard and maybe asking for some counselling might be useful some Gp’s have the service attached to the surgery. I admire you managing your own business two under fives and waiting for results, try to find a quiet tiem during the day to relax and destress. Set aside some ME TIME I do hate that phrase but if anyone needs it is you,please take care super mummy and get some help Sue

Thank you. I have booked an appointment with my GP for the end of the month (earliest available slot), and spoken to my neurologist over the phone. He said he would put me in touch with the psychologist and write me a letter to send to relevant people regarding my health and difficulties with continuing to run my business. He wanted me to be signed off by my GP, but I’m unsure how I will get help if I do?

He was shocked that I am home alone with the kids all week whilst still trying to work and was concerned about my mental and physical health - but what can I do? Family can’t/wont help and there’s only so much you can ask of your friends. I hate asking for help but it’s all come to a bit of a head today.

Neurologist thinks it’s MS after speaking on the phone with him today, but can’t give official diagnosis until further instances are recorded (or along those lines anyway…).

Hi Ruby,

Chat to your GP about antidepressants I was really anti taking them but they have stabilised my emotions massively. Wish I’d done it quicker now. The one I was given can be used for Anxiety and depression - Citalopram.

Snowqueen x

Hi Ruby,

Reading your post is EXACTLY how I feel (and in very similar situation) and wanted to say you are not alone. I actually had to check your name to make sure I didnt write it one night!

I have probable MS and awaiting a followup MRI next week. I have a 15month old boy and although I too have a history of depression the emotions I am going through at the moment are completely overwhelming me too and I am also unsure if they are MS related or not. I also work for myself from home and get extreme anxiety re work and clients.

What I have found useful (although not sure if possible for you) is getting my son into nursery extra days so that I can have a bit more time for myself, although to be honest I end up just working more.

For sure see your GP (could you get a sooner appointment if you explain your situation to the receptionists?). Unfortunately my GP has been horrendous (has always been) so I will change.

I really feel for you and please if you need to chat PM me as will be happy to.

Sending hugs xxx

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Hi Ruby

Just something to consider that there are non medication options for anxiety and depression. Mindfulness meditation and CBT cognitive behavioural therapy. Also Tai Chi has been studied and can be as effective as some anxiety medications, can also help depression and balance. It has been studied in MSers and non MSers.

These have worked for me so far xx

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Here’s the good news: many of us have found that anxiety and depression can be effectively treated as anxiety and depression and on their own terms. MS is a whole other kettle of fish, but never mind that for now. My suggestion would be to try to break down your current problems if you can and deal with them one by one, easiest first. Anxiety and depression really can get better with therapy/medication - quite fast - and that can be life-changing. Please think seriously about getting to grips with that. If you do, you might find that a whole load of other stuff is easier to deal with.

Good luck.

Alison

Ruby did you managed to get an appointment for the GP on Monday?how did it go I hope you got the support you deserve hang on in there kid hugs Sue