I have only just realised that my anger at this great condition has wrecked my marriage and ruined my relationship with my lovely children. It is a hard pill to swallow and I have been unaware of all the damage I have caused due to personal defence mechanism blocking out the fact that MS has stolen my life. I have a lot to live for but I feel lost in my relationships with my wife whom I still love dearly and my great kids who I also love totally. I am undergoing counselling which I helping but I should have admitted defeat and done it in 2007 when MS was diagnosed not now that the damage has all been done. Any suggestions or anyone in a similar situation? Chris
I have told my wife but she stopped loving me at the end of August 2010 and has told me that when our kids have all flown the nest she wants to divorce and split up! Chris
I will try Pat Thanks Chris
I must admit i did find myself pushing away the people i need the most. Thankfully i saw the light. Anger did seem to be how the stress of life, ms included, effected me. Never too late to change and put right a few wrongs. Earn back the trust and respect of your family. Remember you can choose your friends…
Goodluck
darren
I have seen the light but unfortunately it may be too late!!!
I will try to rescue what I can
Chris
Twin daughters of 20 and son of 18
Hi, I am sad for you with what`s happened.
Do you think you could express your feelings better, in a letter to each of them?
I know you are sorry for what`s occured, but i hope they can see that and give you another chance.
luv Pollx
I have thought about writing each of them a letter yes just got to get it all down on paper Chris
Hello Bobbob,
Anger and denial are well known problems for MS sufferers. It is very difficult to move into the acceptance stage.
I have gone through anger and denial stages but occasionally revert. I still tend to get angry with people, its not them but the frustration that I cannot do what they do and I want to do it. Seeing people dance to music, seeing a dad walking alkong with kid on his shoulders these make me frustrated and therefore angry.Walking the dogs, clearing snow from pavement at fromt of house, there are so many tyhings like that
Also horrible for blokes because they feel so impotent. MS has removed the ability to do what a man naturally wants to do. It is all sooo frustrating so you end up taking it out on someone.
Yup counselling does help but in the end you have to make it work, move into acceptance that you have the disease.
I do understand and wish you good luck,
Patrick
How about visiting www.relate.org.uk if you haven’t already They offer advice on family relationship problems and you could probably talk through issues and ideas in full with a trained family councillor Just an idea Jx
Ps I am not associated with them or trying to flog their services, they just offer loads of advice and good web links for all manner of relationship dilemmas…
Aww bless you Chis, I feel for you. I was really horrible, angry, dismissive and basically didn’t want to talk about it, as in my mind, if I
didn’t talk about it, it would go away… NOT!!! I’ve had this since '96, and still get all the emotions, I suppose I’m still in denial? I
felt my family distancing from me, but I didn’t care, sounds awful I know. I have only opened up and felt better in the last 2 years, so
my hubby and kids were saints, and I could of lost it all. For me writing them all a letter was the thing, as I could write down my inner
most thoughts, whereas I could never say them out loud, for fear of being weak. It was the best thing I did for me and mine.
(You have to decide whats right for you.) After that things improved, as my hubby thought, as the years went on, that I didn’t love or
want him anymore, so not the case. I can now see that this illness can be harder for those around us, as they don’t know how to
react, or what to do for fear of upsetting us. I wish you all the love, luck and happiness hun xxx
Chris, I totally lost the plot when 1st diagnosed in 2005. Id left my hubby, children & pressed the self destruction button. It took 12 months 2 rationalise my actions. Thank God I realised what was important & a very understanding husband & kids (they were 17 & 22). There is hope, TALK to each other, think you,ll find they are as scared as you are. Its not over honey, TRY & TRY again. Been there & done it, dont give up!!! Tracey xx