Murphy drops some buttered toast on the kitchen floor. It lands butter-side-up.
He looks at what he has done in astonishment, for he knows it’s a law of nature that buttered toast always falls butter-down.
He rushes round to the presbytery to fetch the priest.
He tells the priest that he thinks a miracle has happened round at his flat. He won’t say what it is but wants Fr Flannagan to see it with his own eyes.
He brings Fr Flannagan into the kitchen and asks him what he sees on the floor.
“Well,” says the priest, “it’s pretty obvious what we have here. Someone dropped some buttered toast, and then for some reason flipped it over so that the butter was on top.”
“No, Father, I dropped it and it landed like that.”
“Well,” Fr Flannagan says, “it’s certainly a natural law of the universe that dropped toast never falls butter side up. But it’s not for me to say it’s a miracle. I’ll report the matter to the bishop, and have him send people round, to interview you, take photos, etc.”
An investigation of some rigour is conducted, not only by priests of the archdiocese, but by scientists sent from the Curia in Rome. The final ruling is a negative, however. it reads:
“It was certainly an extraordinary event that occurred in Murphy’s room, quite outside the normal run of the phenomena. Yet we have to be very cautious before ruling any happening miraculous, ruling out all possible natural explanations. In this case we have declared no miracle. For it possibly resulted from Murphy’s having buttered the toast on the wrong side.”
Ha ha! You could actually go into great depth into the theories about the catholic church and other such denominations only believing in what suits them! You could say the devil is in the detail. But I’m stuffed if I’m going to give it any brain time. Thanks for the giggle! Steve.
Ha ha, poor Murphy. I wonder what they would’ve made of my extraordinary feat when I was aged about 6. I tripped over a footstool whilst carrying a plate of buttered toast. The toast shot in the air, I fell over but managed to land with my arm outstretched holding the plate and caught the toast on the plate butter side up! A true miracle?! My parents were very impressed. I think they would’ve been more impressed if I could’ve stopped tripping over everything and especially if I could’ve had one pair of specs that lasted more than a few months …
Tracey,any chance of repeating all of that now?..I’ll sponsor you
Loved it. Thank you for brightening up the day. Tracey - tongue in cheek here but if you do manage to repeat it not only would Wb sponsor you but it would have to be worth £250 on “You’ve been Framed”. Quite a spectacular achievement. My dog would have had the toast before it had got anywhere near the plate or the floor.
I can do the falling over the footstool bit quite easily but the rest … not a hope!! I’ve had many moments in life worthy of “You’ve been Framed” but sadly my friends and relatives never had a video camera at the ready.
Lol at your dog Dinks, it sounds like one that we used to have. The little so and so would nick anything if you weren’t keeping a close watch on her.
Ah Tracey the mad dog. Superb show dog but no brains. Does an amazing wolf howl in the middle of the night. Terrible thief - never had one like it before. Doesn’t care if anyone is watching - he is completely shameless. Will open the oven, can do the microwave too. Hasn’t perfected the washing machine to put his own blankets in though. Regularly falls off the sofa and hits the floor with a bang and stays exactly where he has fallen. Thinks he hasn’t grown at all since he was 8 weeks old and can still sit on my lap although he weighs 38kg. Not an ounce of malice in him - loves everyone human or canine. Makes me smile and gives me a reason to try and keep mobile and active. He is ball mad so exercising him is relatively easy and he loves swimming. Don’t want to get mad with him because there may be a day when I am grateful he can open things! Wish he could open those awful child resistent caps though. This dog has had many a “You’ve been framed moment” but like you we have never had the camera handy. Could never be without a dog.
Awww, he sounds really cool. Pity he hasn’t learned to open child proof caps, that would be really useful. Yes, one day you will be glad he can open the oven. Now you just need to train him to open the freezer and put the ready meals in the oven as well
I’m a grumpy old b*gger, and should really be the chief of the PC Police, so I decided not to read this joke. But I couldn’t resist.
I now have a little smile on my face