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Advice please! Fed up big time :(

Hi all,

I only joined last night so I’m very new to this!

I was wondering if there was anyone who could give me a bit of advice?
I am currently having my second relapse of the year, and am on tysabri, I’m off to see the consultant today, so I’m sure that will be helpful.

I feel that my relapse is due to stress. I live in a ground floor council flat, had to move out of mum and dads as I could no longer walk up and down stairs to get to my bedroom.

Anyway, I have been here since 2009, and I’m not exaggerating but it is horrendous.
There are parties every week, constant noise from inconsiderate neighbours, screaming and shouting all day long.
The parties go on until 6am! I have spoken with them, only to come home to spit on my front door, or key marks on my car- I know I can’t prove it was them, but it seems to happen after I’ve spoken to them.
Worse part- they know that I have MS and I heard them laughing about it last weekend, talking about me being in a chair. It didn’t upset me, it frustrated me as they do not say nothing to me?

The housing association changes my housing officer more times than I have had hot dinners! I now have a new one again who wants to start a “fresh!”

I need to move from here, but I just don’t know what route to take. My mum stays with me a lot as if my boyfriend is away I need someone to help me. I currently don’t receive DLA for care, but have put in for this and should hear soon. Due to having bad relapses, I can’t be here on my own for very long, its a struggle, I usually end up falling or hurting myself.

When I spoke to the housing association that I am with, I asked them if I would be entitled to a two bed, so my mum had some where to sleep and not just the sofa? They were unable to answer this?

I feel like this is having a massive effect on my health and I just don’t know what to do anymore??

Should I tell my consultant?? I am so fed up with being poorly and unable to rest due to horrible people that live here.

Would be very grateful for any advice given,

Thank you,

Ashleigh :slight_smile:

Hi Ashleigh

Sorry you're having such a tough time at the moment.

I think it's been mentioned already but if you need some extra support I can't recommend the Helpline (0808 800 8000) highly enough. They're a lovely bunch - some with first-hand experience of MS - who are well used to helping people in all sorts of fixes. 

best

Greg [admin]

Hi Ashleigh and welcome to the site.

This sounds horrendous, would it be worth having a word with your GP and involving social services? Your MS nurse might also be able to help. The MS helpline 0808 800 8000 would also be worth ringing.

Good Luck!

 

Hi Ashleigh

Thats awful, and very similar to my circs.  I have been in a housing association flat for 18 months now. It has been an awful experience from the start.  My partner and I both have MS.  We had been privately renting for an age, but landlords kept selling up and we kept having to move, the stress of having to keep finding the money for deposits etc kept making me relapse so we went on the housing list to try and find some stability. We were at first told to shove it as our wages meant we can afford to rent privately so why should we have a housing ass. property. We fought and fought, bought in the local MP - we didnt want/need any financial help - just the stability of a permanent residence.  eventually got our flat which is absolutely lovely.  The neighbours on the otherhand.....I am the only person in the whole block(12 flats) that works, the other residents are younger than me (i am 29) and I know better than alot of people that looks can be deceiving - but they are all absolutely fine to party all night, have sports tournaments in the car park, run down the local shop for more beer etc etc so i cant believe they are all in a position where they cant work...anyhoo - my point is, after months of men turning up at my door asking for meth (we re-direct them to the flat next door), police raids, all night raves, piles of vomit in the comunal hallways etc etc I have had enough.  I will not stay there alone - purely because i do not think it is safe - there are always strange sorts lurking about smoking drugs and completely spaced out.  I spoke to my landlord and she suggested I look at a site called house swapper (if you want a link let me know) you register with the site, your landlord has to approve you - most housing associations are part of this scheme. you register your property details and what you would like to move to (in your case a two bed) and someone who has a two bed who wants a one bed - will say "hello - would you like to swap with me".  Its an absolutely super system - and I believe its all over the country as I live in Hampshire but sometimes people in Devon ask for mine and things. I havent found anything suitable yet - but fingers crossed. 

Good luck to you, I hope you find some resolution sometime soon.

P.S - we got a 2 bed on the suggestion of our Dr (letter from doc to sentinel) - as we both have MS more often that not we sleep apart, because one of us is normally doing something that annoys the other.....

Hxxxx

hi also speak to your local councillor or if no use MP, especially if council ar not being supportive

Your doctor and any specialists can write you support letters,even Social Services can help.Yes speak to your consultant about this he may also be able to write support letters to try and get you a transfer as it is causing you ill health.

I think the council is giving you the run around and are not realy listening to you.

I cannot speak about your council but many have a policy that if you have support letters off the service providors that state you need at times an overnight carer the council can and should provide you with a two bedroom accomidation.I myself am entitled to a three bedroom home as I have a child and need the extra room for a carer.You have rights as a disabled tennant and the council has a duty of care to provide for you.Also visist CAB and get there advice and they can make phone calls etc on your behalf.

So yes ask anyone who treats your MS to help you get that two bedroom property.

I will add though,were I used to live the estate was full of idiots and drug addicts.I tried for 7 years to move and the council was not helpfull at all.In the end I went private,I am so happy now.I have a nice home,with an actual kitchen not just a base unit and a wall cupboard that the council provides.I have tiled floors throught the downstairs and proper wood flooring in the livingroom.I now even have a downstairs toilet wich I am very greatfull for.This maybe a good option for you.Even the plug sockets and light fittings are either raised or lowered for a disabled person.

Going private there are many dodgey landlords,I do advise a letting agent is the best option,this will cost you a fee and once a suitable property is found you will have to pay a months rent and a bond.However if you have benefits you could try for a loan for help with this and as you need a bigger property due to ill health you maybe entitled to a grant for removal expenses.

There is help there you just need to know were to find it,in some cases Social Services can help,you may think of getting a Social Worker for yourself who can also stand up for you and fight to get you moved.

I feel for you a lot,I had terrible neigbours.

Good Luck.

 

Charlie,x

Hi, your story is horrendous and i think like others have said, you need to speak to Social Services and have a Social Worker assigned to you.

I hope your situation improves very soon.

luv Pollx

Hi Ashleigh

I am replying again to move your post back to the front page.

Unfortunately Greg's reply for some unknown reason moved it to the back page.

Do let us know how you get on

x

Hiya!

Sorry for the late reply, been having a few bad days!

Thank you so much for all your advice, I really am very grateful.

I went to see my consultant on Thursday and I just fell to pieces, one being poorly and two I have just had enough with this situation. She was very helpful and is going to write a letter for me to send to the council. She was so shocked to hear what I had been experiencing, I guess I don't mention things like this to my nurse as I know their really busy and I don't want to bother them, I try to be strong and just get on with it- I know there are people who are very poorly and need her time more.

I had to go to the doctors to get a certificate for work and he is going to write a letter too, also he will mention about getting a two bed, so my carer (my mum) has some where to sleep too.

Mum is going to fill in my transfer forms and we will send it off together with the letters from doctors to housing association and see what happens.

Mum also called the MS society, they were very helpful, they suggested I spoke to my GP and consultant, if I didn't get any where that way then we should call them back and they will offer more advice.

Hayley- I'm sorry to hear your having what sounds like the exact situation to me! It's bloody awful and I just don't understand why people who are "well" waste their lives doing drugs and sitting on their bums all day! I know what I would be doing if I could, anyway! I have been on that homeswapper site since November last year, but to be honest I would be so worried that if I did swap and the person moved here, that they would be so cross and would then know where I lived! Hence why I want a complete transfer so I have no connections to these digusting people who live here! Last night another party- luckly I was so drugged up on painkillers I didnt hear a sound! I hope you get a swap and find peace in your new place. As you probably understand, after a "tough" days work, I just want to rest, but you can't in these places!

Jellybean- Thank's for your reply, glad your happy in your current place. I just don't understand how some people can be! I can't afford to rent private at this moment, the area which I live in is way to expensive and I don't want to be to far from work so that if I don't feel well I can just get a cab to work and it be cheap still! I have a little bit of hope knowing I am going to get these two letters from "professionals" so fingers crossed!

Again, thank you all for replying- I don't feel alone anymore!

Ashleigh happy2

 

Hi Ashleigh

There are two things that I have not seen mentioned above. 
- No mention of involving the Community Police.  They are usually good at getting this sort of behaviour reduced.  If they are "interested", then you might find that the criminal damage gets reduced
- No mention of contacting your local councillor.  They need votes to get re-elected.

Otherwise, you have had just about all the advice that you need.  Involve everyone. 
Your consultant and nurse both need to know, because it bears on your condition. If they can help sort this for you, you are probably better, and their job is easier.
Social Services need to know.
Use the CAB and the Helpline - it's what they are there for. 
Write to your MP - and if (s)he has a local surgery you can get to, go along and break down while you are talking to him/her.

And, above all, when you are talking to one official, let them know that you have involved another.  You talk to the housing officer - tell them you are talking to your MP.  You talk to Social Services - tell them that you have reported the anti-social behaviour to the police .  Et, etc.

Geoff

Thanks Geoff for your advice, me and my family are on the case!
We have tried the police, but didn’t really help us as no one had actually seen then cause damage to my car or spit on my front door, just a coincidence that the previous night they had a party and my OH asked them to turn the music down. Never mind.
I will get there in the end, feeling more positive today :slight_smile:
Thanks again!