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Advice on depression

Hi,

My grandma currently suffers from MS, she is at the stage where she can no longer walk independately, using a wheelchair outdoors and a zimmer frame indoors.
If she goes out anywhere except to the shops, even in the wheelchair with me pushing she gets so tired that the next day she falls, often ending up with her having to call an ambulance because she lives on her own.
Due to this, she is, well I’m assuming she is scared of going anywhere and stays indoors and won’t let me take her anywhere, I have took to staying over and taking her out that day as she seems to be at ease when I’m there, but I can’t do this all the time and even so she gets scared of going out and doesn’t see the point.

Her husband, my grandad has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease and is no longer living at home, they say he will pass soon.

She never tells me anything so I don’t know what’s going on in her head but I do know she’s fed up with things as they are. We are trying to do our best but is there anything we can do to try to help with her moods?

I try to have a joke with her etc, and this seems to work for a moment but long term I’m not sure what to do.

Hi there, Having had depression myself it does help to speak to others about what you are going through. Does she have a ms nurse she could ring for advice? There is also the ms helpline have you tried that? 0808 800 8000. In the longer term is it out of the question for her to move to sheltered accommodation?. You are doing a fantastic job in a difficult situation. Hope she gets the help she needs soon. Mags x

Hi Anon, May I suggest you talk with her about your concerns, older people are tougher than we think they are! and appreciate our honesty & reaffirm she is still valued & loved.

Maybe suggest you could talk to her g.p, age uk, MS support etc on her behalf she certainly has a lot to deal with.

Has she seen her G.p of late if not a home visit may be in order for both physical and mental health check up(with a word in the doctors ear). You could contact age UK for advice they maybe able to help you help grandma.

Good Luck

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I think talk with her about her past life…her life experiences…I think It would help…

Good Luck…

Hi

I have a similar problem with my Mum. Her MS has knocked her balance and her self confidence…and it’s had a snowball effect…she can’t do the things she wants to do because she gets so exhausted and she seems to have got asthma now to boot…which just adds to the fatigue and immobility. So I completely understand where you are coming from. I think my Mum is depressed…but sadly people of the elder generation seem to think it’s embarrassing or something to be ashamed of. It’s NOT it’s an illness and sadly MS can bring on spells of Depression especially after spells of taking steroids, which shes taken off and on most of this year. I’ve done a bit of reading on MS and depression both together and separately…one thing that hit home was an article written by a Doctor who specialises in Depression and Anxiety…she wrote (or words to this effect) “if you had cancer, you wouldn’t avoid Chemo and its the same with depression; you can’t avoid your treatment”. If your Grandma is depressed maybe you could try talking to her without using the dreaded D word (depression)…sound out how she’s feeling and talk about it. I sense and I may be wrong that you are quite young? You need to make sure you have someone to support you too if you decide to talk things through…because it may be quite hard to hear. My Mum tries to protect me from what really goes on with her MS but not knowing how she’s feeling or dealing with worries me more. If your Grandma opens up and talks to you…maybe you can convince her to see her GP or MS nurse to talk it through and reassure her that there’s no shame in being Depressed and there is help out there. There’s a wonderful little drug called Citalopram which is an antidepressant but also helps with anxiety…this could maybe help your Grandma lift her mood and stop her feeling so anxious about going out again. It’s horrible when they don’t tell you whats going on in their head isn’t it… :frowning: much love