Myself and hubby are in exactly the same position, we started the adoption process back in November 2011 and were going great guns until I had my first medical issue in July/August 2012. Our social workers halted our ‘cleared for adoption’ journey as they (quite rightly) needed to understand what was going on with me medically.
At the time, I just had a little patch of numbness. Over the last 3 years, we have continued to meet with them but they have told us and confirmed to us in writing, that my health is of concern. After the first issue, they pulled our application and required us to step away from the process for a year as they classed it as a traumatic event and the rules for that particular borough council states that we have to have a ‘clear’ year before prceeding again.
Bearing in mind, once the numbness went (treated with Vitamin D & B12 as both levels were very low), they still wanted me to have a firm diagnosis one way or another.
I still do not have a firm diagnosis still.
I am now suffering with a level of foot drop/fatigue (started last April) and they have told me (although I am mobile (to an extent) and capable, that it would not be in the best interests for us to continue. I work full time, look after our family home (albeit by shuffling around after I work for more than a couple of minutes continuously) but when I pushed the point, they informed us that we were looking at this from a selfish view point.
I am sure there is a degree of truth in what they say, but my neuro will be writing to them, so we will see where we go. It’s been a rollercoaster and we are drained.
I think your relapse plan seems very sensible and lots and lots of luck with your journey. I know, having discussed this with other potential adopters at the events they hold plus friends from other areas, much depends on the actual social workers as well as the rules that govern the particular council/area that are responsible for your clearing. Our SW wants us to spend as much time with friends children as possible so that their statements can highlight our capability of looking after children and our coping strategies around my health.
Sorry I can’t provide any real help but hopefully, there is some comfort in knowing that you are not alone!
Good luck and do lets is know how you get on.