Good Evening all!
Just came looking for a bit of advice really. I can only seem to find very old posts from 2011 and 2012 so I thought I’d create a new one to see if I can get any more recent comments.
I’m currently going through the adoption process, and just at the last minute we’ve had an issue raised that they are unsure if we’re suitable due to the unknown of the future, mainly regarding my MS diagnosis. I was diagnosed in April 2018 after having optic neuritis (think I’ve spelt that wrong!) and drop foot. I had my last relapse in Sept 2018 just slight numbness of the legs but i haven’t had a relapse since.
I’m sure anyone would love to have a crystal ball and know the future, but my consultant has already said he does not know what the future looks like at this moment in time due to it only being a recently diagnosis, but other than that I am fit and healthy.
How to people handle bring up children and dealing with MS? Am I being selfish by potentially putting a child through an uncertain future when they may have already had a rough start in life?
Any comments or advice would be greatly appreciated!
Thank you
Nicola
Hi Nicola, this almost sounds discriminatory to me. Any long term health condition which is not manage correctly can have negative outcomes. With a healthy lifestyle and medication you can be optimistic for the future. There are no guarantees for any of us, whether you have MS or not. I find it sad that a child could be denied happiness because of a ‘what If’ Good luck and I hope they see sense.
Hi Nicola, it is a very admirable thing to adopt a child. I expect the adoption service are only thinking about the child`s best interests.
Is your partner fit and well? Of course there are many people here who have children and MS. I was a grandma when my MS hit. I am so grateful I had my children before.
I did miss out on quite a lot with my grandchildren, as I was unable to get on the floor or run around with them.
However they did get lots of rides on my scooter and wheelchair. None of their friends grandmas had such fun wheels!
I wish you well with the adoption.
Bousx
a lot of us had our children before m.s. came along and a lot of people with a dx of m.s. go on to have children.
A friend and her husband had just completed the adoption of their second child (first one aged 18 months) when the husband was sadly killed in a car accident.
In general a number of people who have children or adopt children may well develop illnesses or circumstances may change - loss of job, separating etc.
So to some extent every adoption is a bit hit and miss. I hope the adoption goes through for you and like the rest of us you’ll do your best, most of the time getting it right but sometimes getting it hopelessly wrong.
I am sorry to hear this. On account of the age that folks get MS, many of us have had our plans for having children disrupted by the dx, treatment, symptoms, worries about the future, or a combination of all of them. It had not occurred to me that the same would apply to adding to the family through adoption, but it seems obvious now you say it. Whatever the circs, it is always very tough when MS potentially gets in the way of our most natural, kind and generous hopes and dreams. However it all turns out with the adoption, I hope that all goes well for you and your family.
Alison