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What have you done?

I'm sure a lot of you will relate to what I'm about to say but I'm finding it hard when I go out now as I have to use my stick all the time. I've got used to it now but it's other people's reactions to it that I find hard. People I know keep saying 'what have you done?have you hurt yourself?'. Obviously they don't know what the score is but I then have to explain and they feel really embarassed when they realise what is what. I also feel odd to be the centre of attention. I just want to melt into the shadows. Has anyone else had a similar reaction? Tree65 xx

I don't use a stick but when I am having trouble walking and people ask I just say "oh no I've not done anything, I have MS and I sometimes find it a bit hard to walk". Usually people who don't know say "I'm so sorry, how are you getting on?" or ask me questions about MS. I don't mind. I don't like being the centre of attention either, but I don't mind if people are concerned about me, they're just being kind.

I appreciate that people are trying to be kind some of the time but I will be glad when the info is ‘out there’ and I can stop feeling awkward.

Tree65 xx

I must admit that before MS was an explanation for my problems I had no idea what it was. I watch hollyoaks and it was only after I was diagnosed that I realised one of the characters, who’d been on it a while and was quite clearly disabled, had MS. I’m not sure why I’d not really paid attention, or why I didn’t have a clue about MS before. I think that somehow there needs to be proactive education. But I’m not sure how it would be carried out. I think the truth of it is that we only pay attention when things affect us in some way. Sadly :frowning: Suz xx

I just say, 'Oh, I have some neurological problems that affect my walking' in a polite-but-firm,  'Sod off and mind your own darned business' sort of tone.  People generally take the hint and don't ask supplementary questions.

Alison

x

It has happened to me but I don't go into an explanation of MS - that's not what they want to hear. People who know me already know what it is so anyone else is just beiong chatty/curious/concerned and they get told it's something like a gammy leg.

 

I don't mind anyone knowing but I don't want to burden people with a lecture about MS. They don't really want to know about that and it drags the conversation on too long.

Hi, I sometimes try to deflect the conversation away from my ms but saying right away before anyone asks, something like “don’t worry about me, I am ok” or by making a joke “your going a bit faster than me but I’ll get there in the end” , then we tend to laugh and no more questions.

Cheryl:)

Hiya,

I also use a stick, but I decorate it - it's currently wearing sunflowers and battery powered fairy lights.  People tend to comment more on that than be curious about why I'm using a stick.  If they do ask, I just tell them I have MS - they don't usually ask more than that.

Luisa x

yep happened to me. i was in a meeting on my section and an old colleague who had moved departments was taking the meeting. shes always been quite 'gobby' but a realy nice girl, and we used to have a laugh when we worked together.

I had my stick, and in she bounds lol 'wot have you been up to, falling over to much drink eh'  my colleauges looked a bit embarresed  for her (they all know) so i just hobbled up and quietly whispered in her ear   'I have ms' and she was so apologetic  'eee sorry i didnt know' ...... its not sumthin i brag about lol

 

Most of the time I just say 'bad leg'. As a teacher that's what I say to the children (and parents). The children are pretty accepting and very helpful. I've met a few people who have been working alongside me in school recently for a period of time though. All my colleagues know my situation so I just decided to tell those who I've met I have MS. Just in a matter of a fact way, no fuss. They see me using the lift & other stuff so I see it as a 'need to know' basis and treat it so. I don't like being the centre of attention either (I've never wantedd to be) but know I need help and I'm slowly learning to accept all help when it is offered. I'm not inclined, and never have been, to ask for help!

HI,

Funniest I had from a colleague who knows I have MS was 'are you still limping?'   My reply was a light hearted 'yes, I've still got MS!'

We both had to laugh, I always think short and to the point is better than a long winded explanation.. 

Jen x

I must say that I never give a long-winded explanation. Just say that it is probably MS.

However, this does not detract from the awkwardness of the situation.

Tree65 xx