What do I do?


I am currently at such a crossroads in my life…here goes trying to explain…

I have a fab 6yr daughter old who goes to our lovely village school, doing really well (she’s sadly deaf but gets excellent support from this particular school so moving schools is a big deal!), pretty much my whole family live in this small village (sister, mum, aunt, brother), I have so much support, I can walk my daughter to school, we have a village shop, good neighbours everything is rosie!!

3 months ago, before i got ill, we put in an offer for a lovely house 20 mins drive away (our dream house), offer accepted and all systems go. The new house is great but remote, no shop, no school, no family, probably no bus service!. This didn’t bother me before but now I am going through process of docs diagnosing MS and am scared. Do I want to be away from family and all that unconditional support? we should exchange in next few weeks and I just dont know what to do?. I always thought I could just drive my daughter to her school, but what if I can’t…

I have brain MRI on 28th Feb and meeting with Neuro two weeks after but this decision can’t wait.

What would you do?

Hi ya Vicky

This is a tricky one. Under normal circumstances I’m a firm believer that we should try not to second guess what may or may not ‘be’ in our future whilst staying as realistic as possible. But on the other hand I see exactly where you’re coming from. So re-looking at your reasons for wanting to move in the first place might be the best place to start perhaps? Make a list of pros and cons of both moving and staying where you are?

There are lots of conditions that have similar symptoms and it can take a while to get to the bottom of things - to get concrete answers. Some of those conditions aren’t necessarily serious whilst others are. What has your neuro said up until now? Have you had other tests done?

You may regret passing up the opportunity of your ‘dream house’ and I’m not sure that now is the time to be making life changing decisions and putting things ‘on hold’ but I think you should also take into consideration (along with everything else) that moving house is one of the most stressful things we can go through in life too.

What does your OH think? What do you want to do?

Sorry I’ve not been of any help - the decision has got to be the one that’s right by you and your family and ultimately it can only be made by you guys too.

Good luck - let us know what you decide.

Debbie xx

Sorry Vicky - I forgot to add that if it were me then I would hear out what a few trusted friends/ family think and then make the final decision by my own - and partners - gut reaction. Then stick with it.

Debbie xx

If I were you, and I really loved that new house, then I’d move. There is no guarantee that you won’t find it hard sometimes, but your family are only 20 minutes away after all. If, for some reason, you couldn’t drive, perhaps they could play taxi for your daughter? (Have you factored in where the secondary school is that your daughter is most likely to go to btw?)

You’d be amazed at just how good the DVLA are at allowing people to drive. Automatic cars are a doddle if you can still use your right lower leg and hands. If they give out, then you can get easy to use hand controls. The main reason that people are stopped from driving is vision. I can’t remember if you are prone to optic neuritis or double vision? If you are, then there’s a good chance that you won’t be driving sometimes at least. If you aren’t, then it may never happen.

MS is unpredictable. But keeping our lives on hold “just in case” seems to be an awful waste to me.

Karen x

Hello Vicky. I hope to find you as well as can be. If you can find it in yourself to live your dreams then go for it. I know all the uncertanty is unnerving but it may never happen.(Fingers crossed for you hey) And if it does and it gets a bit hard to handle for you, then you and your family can try for another dream, and move back to the village. Embrace today for what it is. Tomorrow will follow on as always.

Take care and good luck

xx Maria

Thats a great moto ‘Embrace today for what it is, tomorrow will follow on as always’. I’m gonna remember that.

Thanks for all your advice. Me and hubby had a big chat and decided NOT go for dream house, but still sell ours and rent somewhere in our village. Not very brave, I know, but very sensible!

Although I dont have dx I truely believe I have had a bout of MS and am scared. I don’t want to make any life changes decisions at the mo. Luckily I have a fab hubby who just sighs and says ‘OK’. Heres to the men…who put up with us ehhhh!!!



Hi ya Vicky,

It’s really tough when we have to wrestle with something that is potentially life changing but I bet you feel like a weights been lifted off your shoulders now that you’ve both reached a decision about the house.

You’ve done what you feel is right by yourself and your family and by doing so have one less thing to worry about. Other opportunities will come up, they always do.

Good luck Vicky

Debbie xx