As a wheelchair-tied MS’er I wasn’t particularly looking forward to a trip to London (albeit to see my daughters graduation ceremony), spending a total of three days there and taking in a show in the West End too. I was however pleasantly surprised not only at the accessibility afforded wheelchair users especially on public transport, but also the willingness to help by complete strangers. One time especially, in Ealing, my wife was pushing me and the front wheel went in a divot in the pavement catapulting me out of my chair. My wife’s immediate thought, other than hoping I was all right, was how she was going to be able to get me back in the wheelchair. However within seconds half a dozen people appeared lifting me back into the chair and showing concern for both me and my wife. A bruising yet heartwarming experience though I don’t know why I should have expected it to have been any different!
Other than that mishap it was far less traumatic than I expected and any return visits will be viewed with much more confidence.
i have never to date found people to be other than helpful.
does make me think tho-would they be as helpful if i was seen as a miserable sod?! now theres many reasons why that could be,pain/nausea and any of other ‘normal’ issues in life. but its very difficult to be rude to someone if they are being thankful/grateful for assisting you. folk dont understand re ms-and why should they? most of us dont! its a huge expectation to expect others know.
i try to treat others how i would want to be treated. what goes around etc. folk are quick to criticise if folk dont meet our expectations. the secret,i believe, is maintaining your own standards without resorting to theirs. it does take practise but is not impossible.
i have learnt so much from meditation-different ways of coping-and alot of things suddenly made sense to me!
i appreciate this is only my opinion but its worked for me something i have reminded my self recently-i believe it to be true. when i say that i dont expect folk to agree with me but i do expect them to understand that its MY truth and no body else can pull rank on me. i guess some folk are scared to admit its their own responsibily-expecting others (whether that be medical staff, family and friends, anyone else.) to ‘fix’ any issue. for me, i find it liberating that the final decision (about anything!) is down to me.
just trying to help to see things from a different viewpoint. the ego has a lot to answer for!
hehe! i havent had an arguement for about 2 years! am sure mediation is helpful but meditation is life changing but u do have do be in the right frame of mind and be prepared to stop being ‘the victim’ and realise your own potential. its a no brainer for me-wish i had found it years ago.
I have to echo these comments, I find people nothing but helpful when I’m pushing my wife in her wheelchair.
She used to be terribly self conscious as people would stare at here. She is 40 but looks much younger and outwardly quite normal and healthy, so you can see the “What is she doing in a wheechair” look that she’s given. So I often just strike up an amiable conversation with them - not found a grumpy one yet.
Young kids are comical though, literally hanging out the side of their pushcahiers to get a better look often to the deep embarrasement of their parents…a comment of “I think it’s puchchair envy” normally breaks the ice.